Police Dispatch

Going Batty

North Berni Avenue, June 2, 4:47 p.m.

A man trying to sell marijuana at a trailer-park hangout was rejected by teenagers and then threatened with a baseball bat, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

When sheriff's deputies arrived at the scene, they apprehended two young men for questioning. According to the youths, who were about 16 years old, they had been hanging out with another teenage friend outside of a trailer that they frequently spent time at. A balding Hispanic male arrived and asked them if they wanted to buy marijuana, at which point they responded, "Whatever," and told him they did not want any. The man then allegedly tried to steal the cigarette lighter of someone on the scene, sparking an altercation with the reporting boys' friend. Eventually, the teenage boy picked up a baseball bat and told the older man to leave the property. The man then left; so did the youth with the bat, reportedly because he was "scared of the cops."

Deputies subsequently interviewed the mother of the baseball-bat-wielding boy; she appeared to be intoxicated and admitted she was on painkillers, the report noted. She said she would throw away the bat that was on the property; also, she noted, she had just "peed (her) pants."

No arrests were made, because neither party involved in the fight was located.


Nobody Wants to See That

East River Road, June 7, 5:21 p.m.

A woman was anonymously left a pornographic photo of someone who probably shouldn't be showing off his anatomy, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.

The woman reporting the incident told a deputy that someone had left an explicit photograph on the windshield of her car. The photo's subject appeared to be a Caucasian male wearing blue jeans, a blue belt and a white T-shirt; the focus of the photo, however, was the subject's exposed testicles. On the top of the picture was scrawled, "jizz hand nigga," with three underlines.

The reporting deputy observed that there appeared to be several warts or blisters on the subject's hand, as well as a burn mark--and the picture also showed the man to be suffering from either genital warts or genital herpes; the deputy could not determine which.

Upon reporting the incident at the Rincon District Substation, the deputy discovered that the subject of the photograph had already been arrested on an unrelated charge. It was not revealed how law enforcement identified the man.