Pleasure Activist 

The G-Spot: Screw the Debate

The word is plastered on glossy magazines, sex manuals, and sex toy packaging. It has been credited for electrifying orgasms and glorious fountains of "female ejaculation." Many people have experienced it's pleasures without knowing what it was called while others have set out to intentionally stimulate it, only to find it fairly unimpressive. While there does seem to be a general agreement about the size and location, some deny its existence entirely, while the rest debate what it actually is and does. The G-spot.

The "G" in G-spot stands for Ernst Gräfenberg—a German gynecologist who was one of the earliest doctors (as far as we know) who started writing about this specific bean-sized erogenous zone located on the front wall of the vagina. Specifically, it is one to three inches in past the vaginal opening, and up through the front vaginal wall between the vaginal canal and urethra. (I encourage you to look at a diagram!) Because it is not actually "on" on the vaginal wall, strong pressure, rather than light stroking, is required to stimulate it. It is difficult to access your own G-spot without the aid of a curved toy or device, but if you have an enthusiastic G-spot wielding co-conspirator, you can attempt to locate theirs by inserting one or two fingers a couple inches into their vagina while bending your fingers up toward their bellybutton in a "come hither" motion.

The "debate" about the G-Spot seems to be among doctors and academics that theorize that the G-Spot is either erectile urethral tissue, a "female" prostate, an extension of clitoral tissue, a confluence of some or all of the above, or that it doesn't exist! The last one is a little infuriating.

On the flipside, there are those who definitively declare its existence as a nuclear button that universally unleashes explosive magical orgasms. However, there are plenty of people who do not find their G-spot particularly stimulating. This can be attributed to personal preferences or natural anatomical differences. Basically, when it comes to your own sexual responses, the only voice in this "debate" that matters is yours.

Discussions about the G-spot are frequently bundled with "female ejaculation." The G-spot can engorge to the size of a walnut when aroused, and some people may also copiously ejaculate (aka squirt or gush) when experiencing orgasms associated with this kind of stimulation. Experiencing this for the first time can be unsettling because it is sometimes confused with urination. However, this specific fluid is a chemically distinct substance from urine.

Again, we are not monolithic beings, so despite the promises that the "make her squirt in 5 easy steps" books make, G-spot stimulation and "female ejaculation" are not direct correlates.

First, G-spot stimulation isn't a necessary prerequisite in order to ejaculate. Some people ejaculate in response to external clitoral stimulation alone or via stimulation of another erogenous zone.

Second, "Female ejaculation" is not universal in any way, shape, or form. That is, some squirt, some gush, some have subtler forms of secretions, and others do not have any secretions.

Third, while female ejaculation is often associated with stronger orgasms, it often is not. Sometimes it is not associated with any orgasm at all. In fact, I know one woman who can ejaculate on command with very little stimulation sans orgasm. It makes for a neat party trick.

If you are interested in exploring your own G-spot, a toy designed for that very purpose is very helpful, but may not necessary. The goal is to apply pressure about a 3rd of the way in on the roof of your vagina toward your belly button. A G-spot dildo or vibrator is curved in a way to enable leveraging this angle way more effectively. It is a good idea to bring yourself to a nice state of arousal in your own tried and true manner before stimulating your G-spot because it can be difficult to stimulate internal erogenous zone when the underlying erectile tissues aren't already engorged. For this reason, many people find it helpful to simultaneously stimulate their clitoris. There are toys designed to help with that, too!

Ally Booker is a pleasure activist passionate about educating herself and others on cool sexuality related things like communication skills, creating and respecting boundaries, sexual self-determination, destigmatization, gender and sexual expressions, sex toy use and safety, and all the other mechanics of pleasure. You can often find her at her Tucson shop, Jellywink Boutique, 418 E. 7th St.. You can reach her at 777-9434 or AllyBooker@Jellywink.com.

More by Ally Booker


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