Police Dispatch 

Parking-Lot Pooper

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Rincon Beat

March 2, 7:29 p.m.

A man was spied "trying to defecate" in a Safeway parking lot with his pants down—but still wearing underwear—a PCSD report stated.

The Safeway manager said the subject had come into the store seeming very intoxicated, but he'd refused the manager's offer to call him a cab and left without purchasing anything. The manager and an employee then reportedly saw the man walk directly to a shopping-cart corral in the parking lot and squat down, removing his pants and obviously trying to poop.

Neither witness said they saw the man's anus or testicles, however, because "his underwear was still on."

Unable to locate the subject—since it had now been some time after the alleged pooping attempt—the deputy told the Safeway workers to call 911 if they saw him again.

More by Anna Mirocha

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