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Tom is still working through his feelings about Doug Ducey as governor

It's Halloween day and I'm already lamenting the results of next Tuesday's election. I'm on a deadline so I can't wait for Tuesday night. Besides, I can see which way the wind is blowing. I don't have to wait for Tuesday night. Anu Solomon isn't going to throw a Hail Mary touchdown pass for Fred DuVal. For four long years, we're going to be stuck with Doug Douche-y, whose forced smile makes him look like he's constipated. He's probably already writing his victory speech.

The opening line: "If you think I dicked my business partners with that Cold Stone Creamery scam, wait 'til you see what I do to teachers..."

Douche-y was endorsed by the Phoenix daily paper, which isn't all that surprising. While it shows an occasional flash of reasonable behavior, it all too often reverts back to the right-wing rag it was back in the days of Barry Goldwater. Just last week, they had this incredibly wrong-headed editorial about all the money that the Legislature cheated the schools out of over the past several years.

The gist of it was "C'mon, Schools, we all know that the lawmakers bullied you and stole your lunch money for the past six years, but you should be the more magnanimous party and let them off the hook. They only sorta did it on purpose. Besides, you told them they could do it that one time. You can't really blame them for thinking that you gave them tacit approval to screw you over in perpetuity."

Douche-y has already said that he will use taxpayer money to pay for lawyers to keep from having to obey a court order to pay the schools what they are owed. I'm not even sure how such a thought can even enter a person's mind, let alone take roost.

At press time, the District Two Congressional race was still a toss-up, with some polls even giving incumbent Ron Barber a slight edge over his soft exterior/prickly interior challenger, Martha McSally. Still, this feels like one of those Murphy's Law elections where everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Assuming that the puppy-loving Social Security Slasher McSally does win, I'll have a new hobby. Starting in January, I'm going to keep track of how many times Martha McSally "votes with Republicans." Would anybody be surprised if it's north of 90 percent? Should anybody (including Democrats) be outraged if it's north of 90 percent? She's a Republican; I would expect her to vote the same way as other Republicans most of the time. Why get pissy about it?

Please God, don't let Democrats to be dumb enough to run attack ads next time around that say, "Martha McSally got a bazillion dollars in Dark Money and then she gave her vote to artificially dark John Boehner."

So, I'll be keeping track, not to shame McSally, but rather to show the dumb-ass voters who were swayed by those dumb-ass ads against Barber exactly how dumb-ass they are. I hate the way that campaign was run. The Koch Brothers had a casting call for old white people who could either say stupid stuff without giving away the fact that they knew what they were saying was stupid, or just say stupid stuff and not know any better. (Tip for future campaign managers: Start with really stupid people and go from there.)

What's with the hate for Nancy Pelosi? Do old white people not like women? Do they not like powerful women? Do they not like Italians? Is their idea of an Italian woman a Jersey housewife? What did Nancy Pelosi ever do besides help the duly-elected President of the United States pass a historic law that helps keep poor people from dying unnecessarily? What a demon!

Y'all should also be ashamed of yourselves for invoking the name of Gabrielle Giffords in an attempt to get a Republican elected. You guys HATED Gabby Giffords when she was in Congress. Absolutely despised her. But then she gets shot in the head, miraculously survives but can't serve any more, and all of a sudden, she's this independent icon. Invoking her name in cheap Republican advertising is two steps below despicable.

Nate Silver's my boy, even when he's picking against my side. In this morning's Five Thirty-Eight update, he gives the Republicans a nearly 70 percent chance of taking over the United States Senate. This could make for an interesting next two years.

As others have noted, a Congress completely controlled by Republicans could make the final two years of President Obama's term quite uncomfortable. They could pass things that are generally popular, like the Keystone pipeline, and dare him to veto it. Or they could propose building a 50-foot-high wall along the Mexican border as a prerequisite to immigration reform.

I'm not all that worried about it. As long as the House has all those knuckle-dragging Tea Party people wandering the halls, Speaker Boehner probably won't be able to muster much of a united front.

Besides, the next two years should whiz by, with all the electioneering and such going on. In 2016, there will be 34 Senators up for re-election, of which only 10 are Democrats. Could be a bloodbath.

(Oh, and if this turns into a "Dewey Defeats Truman" moment for me and I'm wrong...I'll be a happy guy.).

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