Obsessed

Hard-core B-movie: Perfect couple Derek (Idris Elba) and Sharon (Beyoncé Knowles) must fight off evil sexual predator Lisa (Ali Larter). It’s sort of a dumbed-down version of Fatal Attraction, only this time, the man is completely innocent, and the woman is just a wild parody of the sex-crazed murderess that Glenn Close and Sharon Stone played. This movie is frequently bad enough to be funny, but it's not frequently funny enough to make it worth watching. I think this fully establishes the fact that Beyoncé has no discernible talent whatsoever. I’ve seen her clumsy dancing and listened to unsweetened versions of her vocal tracks (she’s no Linda McCartney, but she’s no Beyoncé Knowles, either), and her acting is, at best, campy. There’s a somewhat engaging girl-fight between Knowles and Larter while Larter is wearing just a T-shirt and underpants, but to really make that sort of thing work, they should both have been naked. I mean, I don’t approve of that sort of thing; I’m just giving filmmaking tips here.