Never Again

Meet Christopher (Jeffrey Tambor). He is a lonely and confused middle-aged exterminator with highly offensive pick-up lines who loves to pose in his Calvin Kleins and believes in the twisted logic of determining his sexuality with a transvestite hooker (Michael McKean). Now meet Grace (Jill Clayburgh). She is a 54-year old Big Brother, Big Sister coordinator who suffers from empty-nest syndrome, dates midget gladiators and carries on like a giddy schoolgirl with her shallow best friends. And together these two unappealing and unlikable people unlock the secrets of the ultimate orgasm through oxygen deprivation; engage in tasteless S&M and obnoxious pillow talk; and vow never again to fall in love—a vow they quickly break. Although the two leading characters present strong performances, the premise and the plot created by writer/director/producer Eric Schaeffer have made me vow never again to see this Mirror Has Two Faces/You’ve Got Mail/Rocky Horror Picture Show travesty—a vow I definitely will not break.