Mondo

Meet Rack
www.meetrackbar.com
Well, this bar is not listed. We looked in three phone books and called information, to no avail. You won't have a trouble finding it, however. It is situated on a rundown part of Drachman, west of Stone--a lime-green building with a large sign in front, which reads "Meet Rack Party." Asking around about this place, we found that most people either knew about it by driving by or from various rumors about what happens inside.

Owned by noted local megalomaniac Jim "God" Anderson, the Meet Rack boasts a multifarious décor. The skin of a mountain lion covers a steel awning. The walls are lined with various pictures of patrons and Elvis, license plates that read "GOD" and "BOOZ IT," a sign reading "Something to Offend Everyone," and a lovely picture of Bob Dobbs (High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius) with a flyer beneath advertising the recent SubGenius devival.

There are no top-shelf liquors here, and the only beer on tap is Milwaukee's Best, a.k.a. "The Beast." There is no menu, but they do serve hamburgers, cheeseburgers, grilled cheese and potato salad. Our spy ordered the cheeseburger, which was served up by Anderson himself. He claimed, "As a veteran carnivore, I can tell you: This cheeseburger is perfect down to the grilled bun." The bar also provides cigarettes for the customers, and keeps 'em coming. There is also a pool table ($1 games, ouch!) and a classic rock jukebox. There is also a secret room, accessible only by asking Anderson for "the tour."

Want 50 cents off your drinks at the Meet Rack for life? All you have to do is get branded. Yes, branded. Like ranchers do to their cows.

This is definitely a place the Chamber of Commerce won't tell you about. After Anderson's "tour," you'll know why!