Legion

Angels come to Earth and kick some gory ass for Jesus in yet another weak Bible-themed action pic. Paul Bettany stars as Michael, a loyal angel who disobeys God’s orders and chooses to protect a baby rather than killing it. (Presumably, the baby is the Messiah, although nobody ever says that.) Most of the action takes place in a greasy-spoon Arizona diner, probably because producers couldn’t afford to set the action in a big city. I went in hoping we’d get an apocalypse film that was faithful to the Book of Revelation, which is one of the craziest things ever written. Instead, we get a boring Terminator/zombie hybrid that cheeses out in the end. There’s a cool sequence in which a grandma crawls around on the ceiling and takes some chunks out of a dude’s neck, but that’s it for good stuff. Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton also star.