Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Rated NR
Action, Adventure
Action, Adventure
I imagine that this is the movie that space
robots from another world would make if,
10, 000 years from now, they came to our
desiccated planet and found, in the
hidden tombs of Hollywood, the Standard
Formula For Action Films. All the
elements are in place, but there’s no
spirit to animate it, and no compelling,
human reason to sit through it. Angelina
Jolie’s breasts play the titular (look it up)
Lara Croft, who is apparently the most
boring beautiful international
super-archaeologist on earth. There’s
some sort of plot about Pandora’s "box,"
and Croft needing the assistance of a
jailed turncoat spy who is the only person
on earth, apparently, who knows how to
get to Mongolia. It all falls pretty flat,
though it’s not so much boring as
pointless. OK, it’s kind of boring too.
Boob Raider
There's no reason to care about a boring character like Lara Croft beyond her nipples. »
