It's a Dry Heave

It was Dave Devine's idea to ask readers to submit slogans that capture the essence of Tucson. He wasn't impressed with the results of the Greater Tucson Economic Council's effort that produced "TUCSON--opportunity accelerated."

It only cost $50,000 for an out-of-town marketing firm to come up with that jewel. Devine thought our readers could do better for a free lunch. But, hell, I'm cheap, so I thought our readers could do better for nothing--and I was right.

Paul Muhlrad suggested one of my favorites: "Tucson: We're Not So Hot."

"Tucson--A Sunny Place for Shady People," another reader proposed, explaining "the old guard rules this town and they protect their buddies with the law and with shady secret deals."

Catherine Curtis offered "Tucson--on the road to nowhere," explaining that her friends and relatives "have to change planes in Phoenix in order to get here," not to mention "all the road widening, improvements, etc., going on now in Tucson. Just where are they taking us?"

A reader who asked to remain nameless offered these jewels: "Tucson--Sprawl Come and See Us Sometime," "Tucson--Cars-R-Us" and "Tucson--The Way the West was Lost."

Mary Schlentz wondered what "idiotic pseudo-intellectual" put not one, but two five-syllable words in the new GTEC slogan. She suggested every diverse element in Tucson--"ethnic, social, economic, sexual, racial, etc., etc."--would be satisfied with the simpler "We Do It."

Another favorite came from Maria Marin, who made a small sign of her suggested slogan that I put on my desk: "Tucson--Dry Heat, Dry Heave."

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