Hulk

Hulk Suck! Hulk make bad movie! Hulk spend an hour and a half setting up plot that goes nowhere! This is, sadly, the worst superhero film of the last five years. There’s no story; the dialogue is painfully hackneyed; and over-rated director Ang Lee is so in love with his digital editing machines that the film seems like a demo tape for Final Cut Pro. If that weren’t annoying enough, Hulk doesn’t even get to go on a big smash fest until 90 minutes into the movie. It’s all an enormous waste of talent, with Nick Nolte turning in a mad scientist performance that would make Vincent Price blush, Jennifer Connelly apparently using her Oscar to poke herself in the eye between scenes so that she can cry every 30 seconds, and Eric Bana doing the blankest hero since Michael Keaton’s inexplicable Bruce Wayne. I can only hope that upcoming superhero films like Aquaman of La Mancha and Teenage Mutant Ninja Republicans are better, or the genre might vanish again like it did after Superman IV: Why Won’t Anyone Come To This Movie?