House of the Dead

Before each movie, a friendly public service announcement flashes on the screen to ensure audience silence. However, throughout the entire 90 minutes of this utterly dimwitted slasher flick, I wanted to disregard this cue and scream at the screen because of the blatant stupidity of the characters, plot, gratuitous nudity and scare tactics. A crew of Barbie and Ken dolls flock to a haunted island for the ultimate party. But when pasty-faced zombies kill the unsuspecting visitors, the sex-crazed guys and brainless bimbos no longer are the life of the party. Unknown director Uwe Boll is responsible for charging my need to break the silence with idiotic elements like dumb damsels seeking help in dark shacks surrounded by graves. This is all adapted from a video game. Ahhhh!

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