Ho Power

In this new comic, our superhero turns tricks and saves the planet

She sells bootie, she whoops bootie, she chain smokes, and she breast feeds. Don't call social services yet; I'm not talking about your neighbor. This is The Pro, a most unlikely comic book superhero.

Just published by Image Comics (written by Garth Ennis of Preacher fame), The Pro introduces a XXX-rated, potty-mouthed, single-parent heroine. She is inducted into the League of Honor, a band of candy-ass crusaders--the Saint, the Knight, the Squire, the Lime, the Lady and Speedo--and sent out to clean up the planet.

Of the many wonderful things about The Pro, the most startling and refreshing are its politics. For a change a prostitute is the smarter, morally superior and stronger of the lot--without coming anywhere near the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold cliché. Plus she's hilariously nasty, venomously pissed off and sports a behind you could bounce a quarter off.

She's neither a victim, nor an activist, but an embittered and weary working mother. And if you think she's going to abandon whoring to embrace the light once infused with super powers, think again. She uses her new found bionic skills to execute a thousand dark alley deals a night.

When we first meet the Pro, she's scraping by waiting tables at Denny's during the day and walking the stroll in the evening. In the first scene, a john tries to short her out of $50 for a, well, an act Bill Clinton wouldn't call sex.

She orders the miserly creep to drive to the ATM while she pops a zit in the rearview mirror. When the cheapskate whips out a gun and takes aim, she bolts, scaling rusty fences and brick walls.

At home, she retrieves her infant, a screaming ball of body fluids, from the grousing sitter. In her ratty apartment, she sits on the can, smokes a butt while feeding the kid and grumbling, "Fucked again ..."

Then a flash of light and before you can say holy ho's, she's shot full of super-hero strength. An alien, called the Viewer, has wagered his robot companion that "any human can be a hero," even a "common street-walking prostitute."

The ensuing action includes the Pro standing spread-eagle over a knocked-out foe, urinating on her bloodied face--in the midst of a "bring your kids to work" day. One entertained toddler, much to the horror of his father, exclaims, "Lady go pee-pee."

"The real point of writing The Pro is to overturn the status quo and scatter all the super crap to the four winds," said writer Garth Ennis. He called the adventures, personas and morality of traditional super heroes "fake" and said he's annoyed with how these type of characters "dominate a medium with as much potential as comics."

Amanda Conner, who used to have a gig drawing Barbie, penciled The Pro. "She is very real, she doesn't act like a Hollywood-style hooker ... and she does things with her super powers that most of us would do if we were really pissed off," Conner said.

For instance, she disembowels a terrorist with the eight-inch heel of her lilac thigh-high boots. To decimate another bad-person, she clutches and twists the vixen's silicon breasts and slams her into the pavement.

Sadly, The Pro is a one-shot, meaning there no sequel is planned. But we can certainly hope that Ennis and his band of fellow Marvel mutineers at Image comics continue to shred the comic book canon with shocking and offensive delights like The Pro.

Comments (0)

Add a comment

Add a Comment

Tucson Weekly

Best of Tucson Weekly

Tucson Weekly