Happily N'Ever After

Once upon a time in banally named Fairy Tale Land, a quirky wizard monitored all of the Brothers Grimm creations through his magical orb while maintaining balanced scales of good and evil—so a happily ever-after ending can always prevail. However, when the God of Fairy Tales left to play golf in his fashionable plaid skirt, Cinderella’s stepmother—with a Jessica Rabbit physique—decided to alter the positive predetermined destinies with the help of various fairy-tale villains. Thus, Rumpelstiltskin got the baby; Rapunzel fell out of the tower window; the giant crushed Jack, etc. However, never fear: Out to mend these fractured fairy tales are a passive Cinderella with mousy brown hair and the prince’s bitter servant (who happens to have a knack for trite narration). Paul Bolger directs Rob Moreland’s wannabe-witty script for cynical kids. However, pint-sized viewers are better off watching tap-dancing penguins instead.