Have you had trouble sleeping lately, bolting
awake late at night bathed in sweat to
wonder, "Wouldn't it be crazy if John
Carpenter made a movie that was like a
feature-length White Zombie video? It could
build an anti-colonial message off nutty
Scientology-derived theology and come replete
with gory fight scenes, wooden dialogue, Ice
Cube's adorable pug nose, and hazy Sapphic
undertones! Ooh, with an unrelenting,
drill-like doom-metal soundtrack! Would that
movie suck?" Rest well, troubled friend, for
Providence has furnished an answer,
and it is: Uh-huh.