Dracula 2000

Vampires have always been the most latently sexual of mythic and horrible monsters, so a vampire entry in the newly revived teensploitation sex 'n' horror genre was probably inevitable. Dracula 2000 is that bloodless entry, an unnecessary millennial recontextualization of--or is it a sequel to?--Bram Stoker's basic story. A sure contender for both the worst title and worst soundtrack of the year, Dracula 2000 opens with a crew of naïve young thieves stealing a sealed coffin from Carfax Antiques, a metaphor for the feckless plundering of various old vampire stories that director Patrick Lussier perpetrates through the rest of the film. The film plays up the sexual aspect of the vampires, portraying them as well-dressed young hotties more interested in having freaky sex than feeding their bloodthirst. But close-ups of claret lips and concupiscent curls can only carry a film so far, and while the visual effects and sexualized feeding scenes may titillate, the film ultimately lacks bite. The myths are true; Dracula sucks.