Vampires have always been the most latently
sexual of mythic and horrible monsters, so a
vampire entry in the newly revived
teensploitation sex 'n' horror genre was
probably inevitable. Dracula 2000 is
that bloodless entry, an unnecessary
millennial recontextualization of--or is it a
sequel to?--Bram Stoker's basic story. A sure
contender for both the worst title and worst
soundtrack of the year, Dracula 2000
opens with a crew of naïve young thieves
stealing a sealed coffin from Carfax
Antiques, a metaphor for the feckless
plundering of various old vampire stories
that director Patrick Lussier perpetrates
through the rest of the film. The film plays
up the sexual aspect of the vampires,
portraying them as well-dressed young hotties
more interested in having freaky sex than
feeding their bloodthirst. But close-ups of
claret lips and concupiscent curls can only
carry a film so far, and while the visual
effects and sexualized feeding scenes may
titillate, the film ultimately lacks bite.
The myths are true; Dracula sucks.