Dark Shadows

After the boring tragedy that was Alice in Wonderland, the normally reliable Tim Burton and Johnny Depp team up once again to induce nap time with this plodding adaptation of the cult-fave vampire soap opera. Depp plays Barnabas Collins, who was cursed by an evil witch (Eva Green) two centuries ago and buried. Somebody digs up his coffin to make way for a McDonald’s, and boom, Barnabas is strutting around in the ’70s. Or at least he should be. Instead, he spends most of his time moping around his mansion while droning his lines. This could have been something funny and weird, but Burton actually goes for a soap-opera feel, and it does not work. I would like to see Depp do a real drama or a smart comedy without burying himself under makeup and wigs. Having seen what he looks like in The Lone Ranger, I know I won’t be getting my wish anytime soon.

Credits

Director:

  • Tim Burton

Cast:

  • Johnny Depp
  • Michelle Pfeiffer
  • Helena Bonham Carter
  • Eva Green
  • Jackie Haley
  • Jonny Miller
  • Bella Heathcote
  • Chloe Moretz
  • Gulliver McGrath
  • Ray Shirley
  • Christopher Lee
  • Alice Cooper
  • Ivan Kaye
  • Susanna Capellaro
  • Josephine Butler

Producers:

  • Tim Burton
  • Richard Zanuck
  • Graham King
  • Johnny Depp
  • Christi Dembrowski
  • David Kennedy
  • Chris Lebenzon
  • Nigel Gostelow
  • Tim Headington
  • Bruce Berman

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