Danehy: Tom Mulls Trump’s Crazy Legal Crusade

Fifty years from now, when people look back, they will probably conclude that November of 2020 was one of the most dangerous months in the history of our country. In many ways, it was one of our finest hours. A record number of Americans showed up to vote as a pandemic raged unchecked (and, officially, unacknowledged). People stood in line for hours, braving the elements and giving a collective middle finger to scurrilous efforts in several states at race-based voter suppression. The LOSER got more votes than any other LOSER in history. But the winner got seven million more votes.

It was actually a surprisingly good election for the Republican Party. They picked up seats in the House of Representatives. They held onto the Senate (for now) and they didn't lose control of any the statehouses that they had held going into the election. It seemed that Republicans would be pleased with the outcome, but no. The zombies wanted their Svengali and they were willing to tear the country apart to get him.

Having failed in their disgusting attempts at voter suppression, having failed to hold onto the three states (Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan) that gave Trump the victory in 2016, and having lost Georgia(!) and Arizona(!!), many Republicans went just plain nuts. They tried to storm (with assault rifles) facilities where the votes were being counted. They threatened the lives of people who were just doing their jobs. They wanted the Constitution ripped apart, crapped upon, and then burned, all in their maniacal subservience to a vile man who cares only about himself. It was tragic.

November could have been a disaster. State legislatures could have turned their collective back on their sworn duty by attempting to subvert the will of the voters in their state...but they didn't. Republican governors could have shirked their responsibility by refusing to certify the final vote tallies in their respective states...but they didn't. And, in a most-pleasant surprise, members of the judiciary (including several appointed to their positions by Trump himself) could have lent a measure of judicial gravitas to the insane arguments...but they didn't.

That last group was especially impressive. They may have been appointed by Trump (or Bush), but they took their jobs and oaths seriously. They would not put up with any of the nonsense. Rudy Giuliani and his merry band of morons would scream bloody murder about fraud in public, but once they got in a courtroom, that word was never uttered (for fear of contempt charges or even disbarment). At last count, Trump's legal team had one win in court (moving observers a couple feet closer to the vote count) and 40 losses. In sports, that's time to take that ass-whuppin' and go home.

Yet, still they whine and moan and outright lie. I'm reminded that Abraham Lincoln, responding to a weak pro-slavery argument from Stephen Douglas in a debate, once said, "(That) is as thin as a homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that starved to death."

We should certainly be gracious winners, but we cannot allow the most ridiculous remarks to go unchallenged. For example:

• My friend Bruce (who has Stage Four Trump Blindness) refuses to call Joe Biden "President-elect." Bruce twists and turns and contorts himself into positions that a yoga instructor half his age wouldn't attempt just to keep from having to acknowledge that which we all know.

He'll say things like "the vote isn't final (or official) yet" or "the Electoral College hasn't met." These are things that I can guarantee he has never said before in is his six decades on this Earth. But he must serve the Grand Putrescence. After the Electoral College meets and give Biden its 306 votes (a "landslide" total, according to Trump), Bruce will probably say, "Well, he hasn't been sworn in yet."

That's lamer than a Debby Boone tribute band.

• Sidney Powell, who got 14 more minutes of fame than she probably deserved, said that a secret cabal of Democrats AND Republicans conspired to cheat Donald Trump out of his coronation. The coup involved members of the fictional Deep State, conspiratorial voting machines, and the entire operation was paid for by a South American dictator who died seven years ago.

That's dumber than the initial graduating class from Arizona's first-ever charter school.

• Some guy in South Dakota went berserk at a meeting of a City Council that was considering a mask mandate. He said that Joe Biden was the Devil on Earth and then added, "I'm an American, No government can ever tell me what to do or not do."

I'm guessing that, while driving on his way to the meeting, he probably stopped at a red light, so there goes that argument.

That's weaker than Mitch McConnell's chin.

• The Presidential election of 2020 was always going to be a referendum on Donald Trump. In the end, a cardboard cutout could have won that election. (Some might argue that that's exactly what happened.)

One of the few people in the world who didn't understand that was the stable genius who engineered his own colossal defeat. Looking at election results from all around the country, Trump said, "Why are all these other Republicans winning, but I'm not?"

That's sadder than the movie Old Yeller 2: He's Still Dead.

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