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Capital Crapshoot 

NAKED POWER

Gov. Janet Napolitano signs a bill that bans state workers from surfing the Web for porn on the job. John Ashcroft's Justice Department offers to monitor all browsing activity.


IT'S TWICE AS MUCH TROUBLE IF YOU'RE BROWSING PORN WHILE PLANNING YOUR ATTACK ON THE GREAT SATAN

The Legislature sends Napolitano a bill removing references to communism from the state loyalty oath. But terrorists beware: Subversive activities will cost you your state job.


ON THE BLINK

The outdoor advertising industry resurrects a bill allowing flashing messages on billboards. Supporters claim: Drivers need extra stimulation to stay attentive to roads!


THINK TANKED

Conservative Goldwater Institute announces a study that shows no correlation between spending on universities and economic growth. Next report: Why the feudal system worked so well.


FIT OF PEAK

Napolitano pressures the state board to rename Squaw Peak for U.S. Army Pfc. Lori Piestewa, the first Native American killed in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Opponents complain: But it's too hard to pronounce!


THE CANDIDATE FOR EVERY VOTER WHO THOUGHT THE GOP BUDGET PLAN DIDN'T CUT ENOUGH

Congressman J.D. Hayworth is weighing a 2006 gubernatorial run. Campaign slogan: I'll make Arizona's troubles vanish like a trillion-dollar surplus!

More by Jim Nintzel

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