When I heard they were making a movie based on the Battleship board game, two fat guys drinking milkshakes and crying, “You sunk my battleship!” was all I figured they might come up with; it’s not a board game that screams “narrative.” Instead, Peter Berg directs the likes of Taylor Kitsch (in his second domestic dud following John Carter), Liam Neeson and Alexander Skarsgård in this Transformers wannabe that doesn’t go anywhere. Subpar special effects and stupid-looking humanoid aliens don’t help matters.