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Dear Mexican: I am a fairly attractive, middle-aged black woman. Like many women who share my demographics, it is challenging for me to find interesting, attractive men—there is a shortage! However, I find myself approached by some of the least appealing males on Earth: sombrero-wearing, pot-bellied, hygienically challenged, straggly-mustached, snaggle-toothed, intoxicated, red-eyed, middle-aged, Mexicans. In the past few weeks, I've been approached by not one, not two, but three stanky-drunk cholos while waiting at the bus stop, or taking a walk. They approach me, speaking rapid, drunken Spanish. I can't catch everything they're saying, but I get the general idea! I answer in English, which they pretend not to understand. My friends laugh at me, and say I must be putting out some vibe of which I am unaware. Some vibe that attracts drunk Mexicans with missing—or even worse—gold teeth. (They look a lot like the caricature for this column, only older and MUCH dirtier.) Why are these guys coming on to me? Why are they drunk in the middle of the day? There are frequently young and attractive chicas in the same vicinity—why do they come staggering up to ME, and how can I make them stop?

—Times are Hard, but Not that Hard

Dear Negrita: What's that saying—pendeja is as pendeja does? That's all you, chula. Besides you forget that a Mexican male will go after any woman, no matter how disgusting—so congrats!

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net. Become his fan on Facebook. follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

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