Favorite

Ask a Mexican! 

Dear Readers: Your faithful Mexican is putting the final touches on his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out in April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while I work on rewrites. But instead of a "best of" columna, I've decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time-favorite reader interactions.

Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn't allow your local rag to print all of the responses, so below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online at www.ocweekly.com/2007-09-20/columns/ask-a-mexican. In the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

Half-African: Afrijoles.

Half-anything: Inbetweener-Beaner.

Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner, America's Worst Nightmare.

Half-Australian: Aussican, Dingoles (say like frijoles), Fosters Especial, Mexi-roo, Ortegamite, Wallican.

Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican, Wetblack.

Half-British: Limey Beans.

Half-Canadian: Canexican.

Half-Caribbean: Carribeaner

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice 'N' Beans, Soy Bean.

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo.

Half-Filipino: ChicaPina (for Chicana and Pinay, which is a Tagalog slang term for Filipina), Chilipino, Filixan, Filitino, Flipamex, Flippican, JalaPinoy, Mexipino.

Half-French: Frenchican.

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, a nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic, White Bean.

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Chili Kraut, Germexican, Wiener Beaner.

Half-Hawaiian: Jalapiña, pineapple salsa.

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale.

Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Apachichano, Cherocano, Cheyennexican, Commanchano, Mexiskin (half-Mexican, half-Redskin), Navacano, Navajole, Navajo Taco.

Half-Irish: Celtic Aztec, green bean, Irlandicanos, Leprecano, McBeaner, McSpic, Mick Spoc, O'Beaner, Paddy-Mex.

Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Mexitalian, Spicawop, Spic-talian, Wopsican.

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese.

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlua-Jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew.

Half-Lebanese: Lebxican, Mediterraxican, Mexiterranean (for those from the Mediterranean region in general).

Half-Norwegian: Lutefiskan, Mexinorske, Norskecan.

Half-Oklahoman: Chokies, Okie-Frijoles.

Half-Portuguese: Mexi-guese, Pork and Beans.

Half-Puerto Rican: Bori-Mex, Messyrican, Mexiricaña, MexiRican, Porto-Mex.

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck.

Half-Russian: Brown Russian.

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican.

Half-Samoan: Samexican.

Half-Scottish: McRiguez, Scottsican.

Half-Somali: Hot Somali.

Half-Swiss: Swexican, Swexicano.

Half-Ukrainian: Borscheros, Cossackeros, Kievicans, Pysankeros.

Half-White: Honky-Tonk, Gringateca, Mejiyanqui, Mexi-melts, Whics.

The final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho: How about an American, like all of us mutts?

More by Gustavo Arellano

  • Ask a Mexican!

    When hipsters do something that's slightly outside the law yet an innovation over the old guard, they get a Series-C round of funding, Instagram influencers, and fawning media coverage. When Mexicans do it? We get code enforcement.
    • Jun 22, 2017
  • Ask a Mexican!

    Rural Mexicans treat their hens as they treat their women: as purveyors of breasts, eggs and little else.
    • Jun 15, 2017
  • Ask a Mexican!

    Since gabachos hate truth nowadays, the prospect of amnesty long ago went the way of the Paris climate accords.
    • Jun 8, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Ask a Mexican!

    Dear Mexican: Math problem: If there are 20 Mexicans, 20 Indians, 20 Chinese, 20 Puerto Ricans, 20 Blacks, and one white person on a room, then how many people are there in the room who's identity is used as a benchmark to establish the identities of the rest of the people in the room? (Hint: not a colored person.)
    • Nov 17, 2016
  • Ask a Mexican

    • Nov 10, 2016

The Range

Quick Bites: Wasting Away Again

'Repeal and Replace' Cuts Schools' Medicaid Funding

More »

Latest in Ask a Mexican!

  • Ask a Mexican!

    When hipsters do something that's slightly outside the law yet an innovation over the old guard, they get a Series-C round of funding, Instagram influencers, and fawning media coverage. When Mexicans do it? We get code enforcement.
    • Jun 22, 2017
  • Ask a Mexican!

    Rural Mexicans treat their hens as they treat their women: as purveyors of breasts, eggs and little else.
    • Jun 15, 2017
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • The Skinny

    A secret recording shows U.S. Rep. McSally has some concerns about reelection
    • Jun 8, 2017
  • Danehy

    Tom remains distressed by the nation's cult of ignorance
    • Jun 22, 2017
  • More »

People who saved…

Facebook Activity

© 2017 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation