¡Ask a Mexican!

Dear Mexican: My gabacho friends look at me askance for being a gabacho who enjoys mariachi music. Even some of my Mexican friends run and hide when I go a step further and start listening to the mournful ballads of Vicente Fernández, backed up by—you guessed it—a mariachi band. Not that the music of my Highlands ancestors is any more special: Those folks got their jollies blowing into a bag with pipes sticking out that makes the sound of multiple cats in heat.

I've noticed that the number and type of instruments used in mariachi bands and the costuming of the players is quite exact every time, showing little variation. What are the origins of mariachi music, and why does it enjoy such popularity?

Bonnie Prince Gabacho

Dear Thrifty Gabacho: Simple, really—the roots are from the Mexican state of Jalisco, which I've noted before in this column plays the role of Texas in the Mexican cultural imagination. It's an overstatement to say mariachi shows little variation, though. The instruments usually stick to various arrangements of trumpet, violin, guitar, guitarrón (that fat guitar that players pluck at with the ferocity of an upright bass) and vihuela, and can come in arrangements as small as four men or as large as an orchestra. The costumes, while always drawing from Jalisco's charro tradition, also wildly vary, while the music they interpret spans Mexico's regions—they can play cumbias, rancheras, polkas, mambos and even "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." Historians date the beginnings of mariachi to the era of Emperor Maximilian, but its international popularity only to the 1940s, when Mexico's leaders decided to (answer continued on Page 73 of my ¡Ask a Mexican! book, paperback edición).

In Switzerland, they have (or had) a law stating that foreign workers could legally come, have families and pay taxes, but could never acquire citizenship. That strikes me as cruel and unpleasant, but at least honest. Is that better or worse than the U.S. position of allowing workers in illegally to support the economy (and do the jobs that the great unwashed would never touch in a million years) and holding out the hope of citizenship—until it becomes politically expedient to round a few up and expel them?

On the Fence

Dear Gabacho: You're right on the Swiss law, along with the laws of many other European nations that denied birthright citizenship to the children of its immigrants for decades. Such jus sanguinis laws might be ruthlessly honest, but they also created a permanent underclass maduro for the picking by terrorists, and dual societies that make our current American-Mexican problems seem downright melting-pot by comparison.

Know Nothing politicians who helped defeat the DREAM Act and now want to amend the Constitution to ensure children born in this country to illegal immigrants do not automatically become American citizens don't understand: Guest-worker programs don't work—you aren't contracting robots, but humans who put down roots and will make it their life's goal to be part of the country. And the children, whether born here or smuggled in at a young age, forever consider themselves American, because that's the only country they know. Yet you have so-called Americans dismiss the kiddies as "anchor babies," and the immigrants as invaders! This country's assimilationist fires are too strong to create a true dual society like that which exists in Europe, but with the current Know Nothing rhetoric dominating Washington, D.C., don't be surprised the next time there's an immigrant-rights march, and everyone waves Mexican flags. I don't agree with the tactic, but that logic is as understandable as Mexican men whistling at women.


It's actually a Filipino, but we all know that those chinitos are the Mexicans of Asia. (Consult Page 248 of my libro.) Ask a Filipino answers questions about his raza—from why the armpits of those little island people are so dark, to why Filipinas are beautiful but Filipinos are ugly—in an informative, hilarious, scandalous manner. Good read, and Mexican-approved! Read more Pinoy pendejadas at askthepinoy.blogspot.com.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net; be his fan on Facebook; follow him on Twitter; or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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