Rated NR · 106 minutes · 2013

You can either apologize for Dario Argento or he’ll need to apologize to you. The Italian horror icon’s latest is a meek and laughable version of the genre’s most famous tale. Argento’s Dracula 3-D almost feels like it has to be a joke, but there’s no punch line other than the aging director himself. And that’s kind of hard to accept. A moronic Dumpster fire of a film, Dracula drops below the line of camp because it’s unclear if Argento—who directed the dark masterpiece Suspiria in the 1970s—even realizes how bad this is. It looks cheap, about half the dialogue is overdubbed, the performers can’t mask their laziness (even the usually intense Rutger Hauer is half asleep), and there’s not enough skin to offset all of it, though the actresses here aren’t exactly shy. It’s a pity it has come to this, but Dario Argento should hang it up.

See our full review: Comedic Value Only

Comedic Value Only

An adaption of the puppet musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall would have been better than Dario Argento's take on the vampire tale »

Director: Dario Argento
Cast: Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Rutger Hauer, Asia Argento, Unax Ugalde, Miriam Giovanelli, Giovanni Franzoni and Maria Cristina Heller



Subscribe to this thread:

Add a review

Roll over stars and click to rate.

Now Showing

  1. Wed 23
  2. Thu 24
  3. Fri 25
  4. Sat 26
  5. Sun 27
  6. Mon 28
  7. Tue 29

    Find reviews & showtimes for all films in town.

© 2019 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation