A.I.

Artificial, yes; intelligence, no. This hyper-dumb Steven Spielberg pablum is a tragically cutified version of a film Stanley Kubrick had intended to make before he had the gall to up and die on us. It tells the story of a wide-eyed little boy robot who wants to be loved. The film basically mirrors its main character, screaming "Love me! Love me!" for two and half hours of not-so-special effects and gut-wrenchingly adorable antics. Not content with the cuteness of his star, Haley Joel Osment, Spielberg even throws in a talking teddy bear and a horrifyingly manipulative soundtrack by schlockmeister composer John Williams. The final effect is kind of like having Robin Williams read Pinocchio over a musical score composed of giggling babies and meowing kittens.