Member since Jul 29, 2011

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If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume. Both sides of his pillow are cool. When in Rome, they do as he does. He is the life of parties he has never attended If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him. Police often question him, just because they find him interesting. His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body. His blood smells like cologne. He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetized it. If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there. The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way. He once punched a magician. That’s right, you heard me. His hands feel like rich, brown swede. He lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by a local tribes men. He taught a horse to read his email for him. He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table. His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards. Even his enemy’s list him as there emergency contact. He never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.


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