Let's Bring the Gathering of the Juggalos to Arizona

Tickets went on sale for the 15th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos on Friday, with the Insane Clown Posse bringing the event to a 300 acre campground in Kaiser, Missouri, but sadly, because of some up-tight Juggalo-hating neighbors and assorted squares - including some legislator who clearly hates joy - Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope have been forced to make other plans:

However, after we signed the contract and announced the location of the Gathering, some of the people that lived in the surrounding community began to raise hell. Not all of them, mind you, but enough to bring a lot of heat to the owners of the campground. Not only that, they also experienced a media blitz and their phones would not stop ringing. This was no doubt amplified because of the recent lawsuit filed against the FBI by Psychopathic Records and the ACLU for wrongly accusing the Juggalos of being a gang, as well as the reports of last year’s Gathering losing money. Some people in the community where the Gathering was to be held must have believed the nonsense because they kept saying a “gang” was coming to their town and we heard reports that some people were starting to arm themselves. Unbelievable!...There was no way to prepare for how much attention this was going to get and how negatively some people were going to react to the Gathering coming to their town.

One guy overdoses at Drug Bridge last year and now everyone's freaking out. What happened to America, people?

While most of Arizona isn't exactly the best place to hold an outdoor music festival in the summer, there has to be some big open space up north somewhere where we can accommodate the Gathering, right? I don't exactly how you go about taxing the "$1 to See Tits" economy, but there has to be money in it somewhere for our pro-business, pro-freedom state, right? It'd be great for whoever distributes Faygo in Arizona, at very least.

I'm looking at you, Fort Tuthill County Park. Do it for freedom. Do it for family.