I Can Fix the Arizona Economy With Porn

So, on Tuesday, by a 9-1 vote, the Los Angeles City Council voted to make condom use mandatory in the porn industry. The rule would require the porn studios, largely located in the San Fernando Valley portion of the city, to pay a fee when requesting a permit to shoot that would fund surprise inspections. The porn studios, which have long opposed the measure, have threatened to leave the city in protest. Steven Hirsch, founder of the adult film company Vivid Entertainment Group, told the LA Times "The industry isn't going anywhere in terms of shooting movies, but if we need to move out of the city or the state, those jobs will go along with it."

If the porn industry needs to pull out of California, it's time for those adult jobs to come to Arizona.

It's not like we can pretend that pornography isn't already being produced in our state, after all, the Girls Gone Wild franchise considers the Arizona State campus a giant casting call, so if erotic films are going to be produced (oh, and they will), why not bring Christy Canyon to the Grand Canyon State? We've been losing our most emotionally damaged young people with father issues to California for years, let's reverse that trend and become a state with more Greyhound arrivals than departures. After all, Sen. Al Melvin says that our state is "open for business" and what's more open than this? Make it happen, Arizona politicians, if not for the out-of-work key grips, or the owners of the Lisa Frank building who would have a tenant in minutes (porn stars like dolphins and unicorns, I'm pretty sure), but for the rising tide of economic benefits to the plastic surgeons, bikini manufacturers, and pizza delivery guys. Our state needs porn and soon.