I'm Sorry for Even Mentioning Charlie Sheen at This Point

You're not helping your cause here, Charlie Sheen, with the Dr. Strangelove reference. I'd probably watch the Comedy Central roast in his "honor" if I could be promised a full mental breakdown on stage in the midst of the parade of second rate comedians mocking him, but I suspect he'll just be hanging out making the same stupid face I was sick of back when everyone was saying "winning" for a week. Still, this will be more watchable than the new look Three and a Half Men that it's airing at the same time as, I suppose.