Keillor's Rules for Reading a Newspaper

I have really come to appreciate Garrison Keillor's columns. While I like his radio show, even if it can be snooze-inducing at times, his columns are often fantastic.

His latest: "Seven Rules for Reading the Newspaper." A snippet:

Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy, Jimmy Stewart, all the greats, used the newspaper to demonstrate cool. Sitting and staring at the profile of Kerri ("Dreamer of dreams") Jodhpur, 18, of Muncie, Ind., and her cat Snowball is not cool.

The rest can be found here. Just be warned: You can't follow ALL of his advice while reading the Weekly; we don't really use the inverted pyramid.