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Comment Archives: stories: News & Opinion: Police Dispatch

Re: “Police Dispatch

Reports of the Easter Bunny's involvement in this drive-by egging are unconfirmed.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 05/25/2017 at 7:37 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

OKLAHOMAN, where the wind comes whistlin' through his brains...
Where life is sweet livin' off the street and cruisin' the UofA for a dame...

Posted by sgsmith on 05/25/2017 at 7:32 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Sounds like the guy was scrambled, cracked under pressure and then wound up with egg on his face. No yoke. They are going to fry him if he doesn't keep the sunny side up. Given enough time he will come out of his shell.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Eggselent Story on 05/25/2017 at 10:50 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

In most European countries, as long as you can reach up and put your money on the bar without the assistance of a step stool, you can drink as much alcohol as you want.

Welcome to America Sven!

Posted by sgsmith on 05/11/2017 at 8:11 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Meanwhile, somewhere there are several children crying because someone took their Jolly Rancher candies, or is this story meant to be an anecdotal metaphor of every election in modern history?

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 05/11/2017 at 8:06 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Perhaps she was also a fan of Bruce Springsteen and "Born to Run".

Posted by sgsmith on 05/04/2017 at 11:34 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

They should no have removed it. Graffiti that looks nice should be left alone. Let's encourage attractive graffiti.

5 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by zenguy on 04/13/2017 at 7:15 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Ahhh, youth. Sometimes, I'm GLAD it's wasted on the young.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by W Corvi on 04/02/2017 at 7:11 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

thats the way it ought to be. drugs should be decriminalized

25 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Palisades on 03/28/2017 at 7:02 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

We come from the future, the past, the present, etc...

Check the posted date in the upper right corner of this article against the posted date below this comment.

We do not have the need to steal lottery tickets to win money.

We win the money by simply looking a few days into the future at the winning numbers, then we go back in time to use those numbers before what you mere mortals call the "current" draw date.

All hail us! For we are the TW Time Bandits!

Posted by TW Time Bandits on 02/20/2017 at 11:51 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

For the first incident -- you can't fix stupid, and for the second... well, pretty much the same thing, although it would be nice if they could suspend people's driver's licenses for road rage incidents.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/09/2017 at 5:04 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Nor could she explain why her cat was in the freezer, her gold fish and bowl were in the dishwasher or why her husband was affixed naked to the bedroom ceiling with duct tape and wearing a crocheted bikini top as a blindfold with mistletoe dangling from his nether regions.

8 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/02/2017 at 10:44 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

The former "Evil Grimace" has faded from purple to blue and fallen on hard times and hard drugs. I always suspected fast food as a gateway to heroin use and now we have the proof.

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/02/2017 at 10:35 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Oh cr@p! Do you think getting her title wrong will get me into Gitmo? My type don't do well in prison, after all I'm an angry old white man... oh, wait... never mind.

43 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 1:40 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

He is such a great President he's even making storage facilities great again. 96 hours in office and we can already see the great things to come.

Counselor to the President of the United States, is her actual title.

I am woman hear me roar!

6 likes, 43 dislikes
Posted by Tammy Parsone on 01/26/2017 at 12:25 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

In an related story, two five gallon drums of an off-brand oil- and sucrose-based honey-like substance made in China were found abandoned and concealed in the bushes near the site of the earlier altercation. Neither honey vendor had any comment.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 11:27 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

According to White House spokesperson Kellyanne Conway, the new administration is considering the introduction of "boutique gated residential estates" (formerly known as public storage sites) as a cost-effective "Real American" solution to the shortage of public housing as a result of eight years of neglect by the out-going administration.

33 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 11:17 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Hid in the closet?! What a baby! Let me guess, he'll need months of therapy because he now has PTSD. He won't be able to go to work and will need tax payers to fund a safe space program for him where he can color and play with puppies.

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by SeasonofMadness on 12/02/2016 at 2:02 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Can we agree that you should have to have a license to reproduce? Why is it as a species that we allow the dumbest and most useless among us to breed out of control? Shouldn't you have to prove you are mentally, emotionally, and financially stable before you are allowed to have a child?

Posted by SeasonofMadness on 12/02/2016 at 1:59 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Kid One: "What the f...?"

Kid Two: "What's the matter?"

Kid One: "That guy gave me a bag full of pills."

Kid Two: "That's nothing. Last year when he ran out of candy he gave me colored condoms."

Kid One: "What did you do?"

Kid Two: "I traded them with some high school kid for a bag full of pills."

Kid One: "Cool."

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by sgsmith on 11/24/2016 at 1:44 AM

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