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Comment Archives: stories: News & Opinion: Police Dispatch

Re: “Police Dispatch

We come from the future, the past, the present, etc...

Check the posted date in the upper right corner of this article against the posted date below this comment.

We do not have the need to steal lottery tickets to win money.

We win the money by simply looking a few days into the future at the winning numbers, then we go back in time to use those numbers before what you mere mortals call the "current" draw date.

All hail us! For we are the TW Time Bandits!

Posted by TW Time Bandits on 02/20/2017 at 11:51 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

For the first incident -- you can't fix stupid, and for the second... well, pretty much the same thing, although it would be nice if they could suspend people's driver's licenses for road rage incidents.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/09/2017 at 5:04 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Nor could she explain why her cat was in the freezer, her gold fish and bowl were in the dishwasher or why her husband was affixed naked to the bedroom ceiling with duct tape and wearing a crocheted bikini top as a blindfold with mistletoe dangling from his nether regions.

8 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/02/2017 at 10:44 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

The former "Evil Grimace" has faded from purple to blue and fallen on hard times and hard drugs. I always suspected fast food as a gateway to heroin use and now we have the proof.

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 02/02/2017 at 10:35 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Oh cr@p! Do you think getting her title wrong will get me into Gitmo? My type don't do well in prison, after all I'm an angry old white man... oh, wait... never mind.

43 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 1:40 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

He is such a great President he's even making storage facilities great again. 96 hours in office and we can already see the great things to come.

Counselor to the President of the United States, is her actual title.

I am woman hear me roar!

6 likes, 43 dislikes
Posted by Tammy Parsone on 01/26/2017 at 12:25 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

In an related story, two five gallon drums of an off-brand oil- and sucrose-based honey-like substance made in China were found abandoned and concealed in the bushes near the site of the earlier altercation. Neither honey vendor had any comment.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 11:27 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

According to White House spokesperson Kellyanne Conway, the new administration is considering the introduction of "boutique gated residential estates" (formerly known as public storage sites) as a cost-effective "Real American" solution to the shortage of public housing as a result of eight years of neglect by the out-going administration.

33 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 01/26/2017 at 11:17 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Hid in the closet?! What a baby! Let me guess, he'll need months of therapy because he now has PTSD. He won't be able to go to work and will need tax payers to fund a safe space program for him where he can color and play with puppies.

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by SeasonofMadness on 12/02/2016 at 2:02 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Can we agree that you should have to have a license to reproduce? Why is it as a species that we allow the dumbest and most useless among us to breed out of control? Shouldn't you have to prove you are mentally, emotionally, and financially stable before you are allowed to have a child?

Posted by SeasonofMadness on 12/02/2016 at 1:59 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Kid One: "What the f...?"

Kid Two: "What's the matter?"

Kid One: "That guy gave me a bag full of pills."

Kid Two: "That's nothing. Last year when he ran out of candy he gave me colored condoms."

Kid One: "What did you do?"

Kid Two: "I traded them with some high school kid for a bag full of pills."

Kid One: "Cool."

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by sgsmith on 11/24/2016 at 1:44 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

From the article: "The housemate had allegedly heard the doorbell ring, but when he went to look through the peephole, it was covered up and he couldn't see bell-ringer -- so, frightened, he hid in a closet."

Dude; trade your housemate in for a good watch dog, seriously.

8 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 11/24/2016 at 1:35 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Grass prices have sure gone up since I was a kid.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mr Munchies on 11/17/2016 at 12:31 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Someone protesting the failure of Proposition 205 perhaps?

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 11/17/2016 at 7:42 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

God-fearing woman my a$$. It is people like this that make life a living hell for others.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 11/03/2016 at 7:48 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

This story has all the credibility of a Penthouse letter or the opening of a 1970s soft-core porn movie not that I would know ANYTHING about either.

6 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by sgsmith on 11/03/2016 at 7:40 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Arrested for abuse of a play station. I believe if we placed a surcharge on all playstation game and purchases. We could have a safety net to help abused both physically and emotionally. I mean after all who get mad at a playstation but losers. And the senior play stations suffer the worst of all at the hands of losers. Such unimaginable horrors like this one falling off the couch a tear for sure. I am so happy the Marijuana could calm him down from kidnapping the playstation separation from home and family. Stuffed into a bag an almost taken for good, reason to have AZ Playstation protective services, with XBox TBD.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Carpet Baggers on 10/30/2016 at 6:01 AM

Re: “Police Dispatch

If the 37 year old man-child is What, Again, I'm sure that the "illegals", liberals, those with white guilt and those who sympathize with these groups were blamed for the downloading.

13 likes, 6 dislikes
Posted by Keep on trollin, keep on trollin (ooh), troll with the changes on 10/27/2016 at 1:27 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

"A 37-year-old man living in his mom's trailer..."

I wonder if the 37 year old man is What, Again.

15 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by Keep on trollin, keep on trollin (ooh ooh), troll with the chang on 10/27/2016 at 1:16 PM

Re: “Police Dispatch

Criminal cops cigarettes, cons convenience clerk.

Posted by sgsmith on 10/27/2016 at 8:41 AM

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