As incredible as it is that First Lady Michelle Obama is behind the production of a hip-hop album (even if it is one designed to promote her campaign to fight childhood obesity), apparently some people find it even more incredible that Mrs. Obama is doing more than just standing behind her husband and waving—a job that, apparently, only a white woman can handle properly.
From TucsonWeekly.com commenter Dottie (emphasis ours):
HOW CAN ANYONE BE SURPRISED, ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS A MOTOWN CONTRACT, AND HIS LOSER WIFE RAPS, AMERICA IS GOING INTO THE TOILET. THERE’S A FIRST LADY FOR YOU, WHAT A PATHETIC COUPLE THERE IS NO HOPE FOR AMERICA, ALL IS LOST. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNEW IT. WE NEED A WHITE FIRST LADY, ANYONE WILL DO, IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS, IMPEACH, EVICT, THERE MUST BE A SINKING SHIP WITH THEIR NAMES ON IT SOMEWHERE, WHAT A LAUGHING STOCK WE ARE. I REMEMBER WHEN AMERICA WAS GREAT, ALAS NOT NOW, RAP THIS
With Dottie’s racist screed insightful comment in mind, we’ve decided to put together an unordered list of the white women who, presumably, could do a better job at being a wife, mother and national figure than Michelle Obama, according to our commenter’s strict guidelines in mind:
– Ke$ha
– Amanda Bynes
– That woman who was sexting Anthony Weiner
– Jan Brewer
– Honey Boo Boo’s mom
– Any and all of the white “Real Housewives”
– Pretty much anyone who has ever been on a reality show, for that matter (as long as they’re white, of course, so basicially all of the contestants on The Bachelor)
– The Olsen twins, in a marriage that would simultaneously legalize polygamy throughout the nation because that’s how his powers as President work, probably
– Courtney Love circa 1994
– Hillary Clinton
– Hilary Swank
– Any ladies featured in Swank Magazine (“ladies” being a loose descriptor)
– Flo, from the Progressive commercials
– Anna Nicole Smith, circa her TrimSpa days
– Nancy Grace
Obviously, this isn’t a complete list of the women who could surely do a superior job of being the First Lady of the United States (again, according to Dottie’s stringent requirements), but we’re trying our best. If you have any suggestions that we will, at some point, forward on to our Commander-in-Chief — that is, if he’s not too busy trying to get a guest spot on Charles Bradley’s next album.
This article appears in Aug 8-14, 2013.
What if the option had been “Hispanic,” which by virture of European origins, is “white.”
Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Paula Deen, Mrs. Doubtfire.
Dottie, what a laughing stock indeed! Grammar is your friend.
I got to this article by way of googling “I can only imagine the shitstorm that would follow Barack Obama leaving Michelle for a white woman”
Burnie, if you’re not writing insanely lengthy keyword tags, you’re not having fun.
The SCOTUS was right when they suggested that racism is no longer a problem in this country. Obviously.
Well we have a BEAUTIFUL BLACK FIRST LADY. INTELLIGENT and SMART, she stand with her MAN and not behind, and she is not a FAKE.
GET OVER YOUR JEALOUSNESS, ENVY and HATRED of FIRST LADY MICHELLE, we know it kill you MORONS to see this BEAUTIFUL FIRST LADY who BROUGHT CLASS TO THE WHITE, SHE HAVE MORE RIGHTS AT THEN ANY OF YOU WHITE WOMEN, MATTER FACT MORE RIGHT, YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET OVER STUPIDITY AND IGNORANT.
OH YES SOMEONE SAID LEAVE MICHELLE FOR A WHITE WOMAN, LET’S GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, PRESIDENT OBAMA HAD WHITE GIRL FRIENDS, IF HE WANTED THEM HE WOULD HAVE MARRIED ONE OF THEM, ONE OF HIS WHITE GIRL FRIEND said he told her, she wasn’t what he wanted, HE WENT TO CHICAGO and FOUND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE and that is the LADY HE HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO FOR 21 YEARS, UNDOUBTLY he saw something in FIRST LADY MICHELLE, HE DIDN’T SEE IN ALL OF HIS WHITE GIRLFRIENDS, and he sure in the HECK NOT ASHAME TO show his love for her. WE SEE HOW ALL THE WHITE MEN BE WATCHING HER also.
YOU WHITE WOMEN GET OVER YOURSELF, WE HAVE OUR FIRST LADY and she is BEAUTIFUL, SMART AND INTELLIGENT, PRESIDENT OBAMA know he have a JEWER