Did you notice? The federal government returned to work. You could tell the shutdown duel was over when that weirdly waxy-looking guy with the orange tan and hang-dog beagle face—you know, the one who always looks like he’s about to burst into tears—relinquished his pistol to the smirking, mummified senator from Nevada.
And thence did the hurtling imperial limousine turn away from the economic precipice at the last moment, just before plummeting into a tar pit from which it would not likely have ever escaped. The limo is being searched for mind-altering substances, and its Tea Party back-seat drivers have been pulled from the vehicle and taken downtown for a battery of tests. (Better to take them to the woodshed for tests by battery, but with any luck, this too may yet come to pass.)
What could have caused such mania? Meth? Bath salts? A devastating outbreak of unsightly blemishes?
While the Tea-gun may no longer be pointed at the head of the hostage that is our economy (i.e., the global economy), I’d like to make the point that the hostage is still bleeding profusely from the “sequester”—or, more descriptively, the “Teaquester.”
You remember that little budget-cutting gambit, right? It’s the exercise in spiteful auto-nose-removal that’s destroyed hundreds of thousands of well-paying, family-rearing, apple-pie-baking, all-American JOBS; eroded the safety and integrity of our national infrastructure; and tarnished our national heritage, all in the name of, um … “restoring America!” (Yeah, I know—I don’t get it, either.)
Much was made of the national park system being shut down for a couple of weeks during the most recent Tea Tantrum, and this was indeed egregious, dealing a billion-dollar blow to the economies of many struggling communities and rural areas that rely on national parks as potent economic engines.
Sept. 28 was the 20th annual National Public Lands Day. Congress celebrated two days later by barring the public from visiting millions of acres of our national parklands and confronting taxpayers with yellow crime scene tape when we tried to use the facilities for a civilized pee in our national forests. (Sound familiar? It’s the same mindless, budget-cutting zealotry that drove the Arizona Legislature to close the crappers along our highways.)
But the Teaquester—and the incredibly selfish, narrow, foolhardy worldview that supports it—is a far greater threat to our national heritage than the momentary brinksmanship of the shutdown. Teaquestration has accelerated the ongoing diminishment of “America’s Best Idea” through staff cuts, reduced hours of operation, canceled educational and interpretive programs and systematic neglect.
Meanwhile—every day, all year long, shutdown or no—oil and gas vampires, timber termites and mining maggots are busily gouging, scraping, poisoning and generally draining the life from our public lands, greedily pursuing what they seem to believe is the highest and best calling for our national heritage: to be ground up into vast piles of easy-come, easy-go.
In Grand Canyon National Park—around which the slavering dogs of uranium extraction howl for profitable access to a radioactive poison that no one really needs—Teaquestration takes the form of a skeletal staff that cannot keep pace with dirty toilets, mounting trash, crumbling facilities and chronic breakdowns of the potable water system.
The Grand Canyon is a microcosm of Teaquestration’s broader effects, as infrastructure, education, environmental protection, food safety and a host of other things that make us a civilized society disintegrate under the weight of Tea Party dogma.
Why, of course! In times of trouble, it’s always best to dumb down the populace, let the excrement pile up and decrease the security of your food and water supply. Ruminating on the sort of kamikaze mentality that leads to such tawdry nonsense, a longtime Beltway cynic summed it up for me a few weeks ago: “Some people think freedom is shitting where you eat.”
But, hey, there’s a flimsy paper lining on every filthy toilet seat, right? I’m glad the Tea Party has finally graduated from Kabuki theater to actual hara-kiri. Their 15 minutes of fame should have ended a long time ago.
The question now is whether the vast damage done by the Tea-Toddlers will be healed. In this era of grandstanding, do-nothing politics, prospects seem dim.
I’d like to offer a different definition of freedom: Electing representatives who prioritize the seventh generation of their constituents above the seventh yacht of their corporate underwriters or the seventh seal of their apocalyptic dogma. I recommend keeping that definition in the back of your mind until November 2014.
This article appears in Oct 24-30, 2013.
I thought after the shooting of Rep. Giffords all allusions to guns and violence as a part of political debate was verboten. Oh, that’s right, verboten for conservatives, but ok for rabid foaming at the mouth liberals.
“Congress celebrated two days later by barring the public from visiting millions of acres of our national parklands and confronting taxpayers with yellow crime scene tape…”
You need to go back to revisit 4th grade civics class. Congress is not involved in the administration of public lands. That would be fall under the purview of the Department of the Interior in the executive branch whose final authority and responsibility rests with the President of the United States.
“The Teaquester…”
I am guessing by using that term you are trying to place responsibility for the sequestration on The Tea Party. Nothing be further from the truth.
From Bob Woodward:
“… the automatic spending cuts were initiated by the White House and were the brainchild of Lew (White House Office of Management Director Jack Lew) and White House congressional relations chief Rob Nabors — probably the foremost experts on budget issues in the senior ranks of the federal government.” (parenthesis added)
“Obama personally approved of the plan for Lew and Nabors to propose the sequester to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.).
The Republicans did the bidding of their President and went along with his proposal. Isn’t that what you want them to do?
Is your misrepresentation of the truth on purpose or because you are a low information writer.
We get to go through this nonsense again in just a few months. Yippee.
Couldn’t believe it when I saw one Senator complaining about having to wash his own towels to go to their special gym. If he had been anywhere near me I would have slapped him – HARD.
Too bad they handle their own paychecks. If I had any sayso they would be paid hourly since they only work part time anyway. AND they would have to go out and buy health care like the rest of us instead of getting what I sarcastically call “Magic Healthcare”.
Thank goodness we had a few women there who were willing to ignore their male peers and get together and talk to straighten things out. Otherwise the Gov. may still be shut down.
I hope whoever reads this will vote for a different person at the next election. It’s more than past time to do some serious House (and Senate) cleaning!
TCTW,
ALL of the budget-cutting madness that pervades Washington these days derives from the sort of anti-government dogma that is wholeheartedly embraced by the Tea Party. The pathetic dynamic of Obama and squishy Democrats acquiescing to such nonsense does not change that fact. In that context, “Teaquester” is perfectly accurate.
Secondly, the simple fact is that the parks were forced to shut down by the failure of Congress to do its job and settle funding issues in a timely matter. What part of that do you not understand?
~Your friendly neighborhood correct-information writer
skinnyman,
One more time, President Obama and his close advisers came up with the idea of the sequester and proposed it. The Republicans acquiesced to him. President Obama owns the sequester.
National Monuments were not closed during the 1995 government shutdown, and some National Parks including the Grand Canyon were allowed to remain open with private and non-federal funding. President Obama refused to accept outside funding to keep some of these areas open, including the war memorial in Normandy which is already privately funded.
President Obama even spent money to close and then place police guards at memorials that require no such supervision when the government is not shut down. He also spent money to close and guard roadside turnouts near national parks that are normally unmanned and require no supervision.
President Obama refused to allow government employees to work for no pay to maintain services for citizens.
Only 17% of the government was closed during the shutdown. President Obama had discretion to choose which areas of service to be disrupted. Some government employees were told to make life as difficult as possible for citizens.
In the 1995 shutdown President Clinton met with Speaker Gingrich every day. During the 2013 shutdown President Obama and Congressional Democrats refused to meet with Republicans, so why is all the blame placed upon Republicans?