IN SHED WITH ANOTHER MAN

NORTHWEST SIDE

JUNE 8, 12:08 A.M.

A couple got into a domestic dispute when the boyfriend caught the
girlfriend cheating on him—in a neighbor’s shed, a Pima County
Sheriff’s Department report stated.

The boyfriend told law enforcement that earlier that night, he had
entered a neighbor’s backyard and opened the door of the shed to find
his girlfriend having sex with the shed’s owner. Soon after, he said,
someone swung at him in the dark, and he swung back.

Back at their trailer, the couple began screaming at each other; the
boyfriend said the girlfriend “broke his shit”—specifically a
now-headless Joker bobblehead doll. When he went to his bedroom on the
opposite end of the trailer from hers, she followed him and scratched
him, drawing blood. He said she must have been upset that he called her
a “shed fucker.”

Asked whether he’d had intercourse with the girlfriend, the neighbor
admitted “relatively having sex.” He said the subject had punched the
girlfriend upon finding them in the act.

The girlfriend said her boyfriend called her a “skanky bitch,” spit
on her and threatened to kill her dogs.

Both girlfriend and boyfriend were arrested for domestic
violence.

PROBABLY WON’T GET A GOOD REFERENCE

EAST FORT LOWELL ROAD

JUNE 8, 10 P.M.

A recently fired woman sat idle while her incensed friends exacted
violent revenge on her ex-boss, according to a PCSD report.

The woman’s former employer, the owner of an elder-care home,
reported that a female employee she had just fired arrived at the door
unannounced that day and asked for her last paycheck. The reportee told
her the check was not ready yet, and that she would get it to her as
soon as possible. The ex-employee then went to her car.

A large, angry-looking male emerged from the car, approached the
reportee and her husband, and struck her husband on the jaw with a tape
recorder, which broke into pieces.

Shortly after, a female exited the car, grabbed rocks from the
driveway, and started flinging them at the reportee, her husband and
two elder-care home residents—all the while screaming
obscenities. After yelling at and spitting on the husband, she went
back to the car, grabbed a massive piece of wood—apparently a
tree branch—and began swinging it at all four victims, hitting
the reportee in the shoulder and shins. Finally, the woman grabbed a
can and threw it at the reportee’s head.

Asked by deputies why she did what she did, the can-thrower said she
was just “so pissed” that her friend was not paid “right now.” She
admitted she had been “an out of control, immature, asinine
asshole.”

Both assailants were arrested for assault.

This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2009.