It was just a couple of weeks ago that Dena, the mother of a 6-year-old transgender girl, felt like she could finally breathe. She no longer had to fear the possibility of her daughter being forced to use the boys’ bathroom at school.

On May 13, the Obama administration’s U.S. Departments of Education and Justice issued new guidelines for K-12 public schools demanding they allow transgender students use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. The joint letter to schools across the country said that transgender students should “enjoy a supportive and nondiscriminatory school environment.”

The guidelines were fueled by an anti-trans law in North Carolina, House Bill 2, which forces transgender people into bathrooms that differ from their gender identity and prohibits cities from creating laws protecting LGBT people. The DOJ has already said that the statute is discriminatory and violates civil rights.

Since her daughter transitioned, Dena’s done a lot of arguing at school about what pronouns and name teachers and staff should use to refer to her daughter. “It’s been a constant battle,” she says. “When boys and girls would get split up for activities or she was told she couldn’t use the girls’ bathroom and had to use the one by the nurses’ office, she would get really depressed and didn’t want to go to school.”

When the Obama administration announced the bathroom guidelines, Dena felt, “We don’t have to fight anymore and [my daughter] doesn’t have to feel like she’s doing something wrong just by being herself.” The feeling didn’t last long.

On May 25, Arizona joined 10 other states—including Texas, Alabama and Louisiana—in a federal lawsuit against the Obama administration’s school bathroom guidelines. Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich and Superintendent of Public Instruction Diane Douglas signed onto the lawsuit representing the Arizona Department of Education. The Heber-Overgaard Unified School District is a plaintiff as well. Given that the Obama administration hinted federal funding could be taken away from school districts that discriminate against transgender students, the lawsuit argues this is federal overreach, and it focuses on sorting out who is allowed to enact these type of rules.

“President Obama has no business setting locker room and restroom policies for our schools,” Brnovich says in a media statement. “Deciding how to protect our children and preserve their privacy, while balancing these complicated issues, is best done locally and not by some one-size-fits-all decree from Washington.”

Douglas says transgender students have the right to feel safe, but that it is not up to the federal government to decide what state school districts can or cannot do.

“When Arizona students attend school, they deserve a safe environment that is free from bullying and discrimination, regardless of their gender identity,” she says in a media statement. “I know that our districts and schools have policies in place to ensure that is the case. The fact that the federal government has yet again decided that it knows what is best for every one of our local communities is insulting and, quite frankly, intolerable.”

Dena feels discouraged. She’s cried, a lot. The thought of her daughter having to go into the boys’ bathroom wearing a dress terrifies her. “It makes her a target to be made fun of or bullied,” Dena says. “It breaks my heart to think there is so much hate and misconception about this.”

Members of the Tucson-based Southern Arizona Gender Alliance say they are “deeply concerned” by the state’s attempt to stop the federal government from enforcing Title IX protections—a portion of civil rights law that makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex in any educational setting that gets federal funds—for transgender students.

“Today’s actions do not protect the citizens of Arizona. Instead, they put thousands of Arizona’s most vulnerable students at risk of being harassed and marginalized. Many of these students already face difficult and dangerous school environments. Harassment, threats, and actual violence are epidemic in the lives of transgender students,” a SAGA statement says.

Contrary to what Douglas alleges, SAGA says most school districts in Arizona do not have policies in place protecting transgender students. In Tucson, Sunnyside, Tucson Unified and Flowing Wells school districts have added gender identity and expression to the nondiscrimination policies for staff, faculty and students.

“This lack of local policy puts students at risk, and harms the educational environment for those students. It creates undue chaos when such policies are implemented in a reactive manner after an issue arises,” the SAGA statement says.

In November 2015, Arizona joined West Virginia, South Carolina, Mississippi and the governors of Maine and North Carolina in an amicus brief filed with the U.S. Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, supporting the state of Virginia’s Gloucester County School Board in a lawsuit filed by Gavin Grimm, a transgender teen, over a board policy that required trans students use a separate bathroom than their peers. The brief argues that when Title IX refers to “sex,” it means biological sex, not the “cultural construction of gender or gender identity.” According to the brief, gender alone does not support a Title IX violation.

The court ended up siding with Grimm in April.

Attorney and SAGA’s vice president and general counsel Abby Jensen says the U.S. Supreme Court has held that sex discrimination includes gender discrimination—that applies to Title IX. She says there is no question the federal government has the power to enforce these laws against not only the state but school districts.

“It is a matter of fairness,” says Jensen, who is also a member of Equality Arizona. “Trans people don’t represent any threat of safety to other people. The fact that you are uncomfortable with the presence of somebody [who is transgender] does not allow you to discriminate.”

Jensen hopes the lawsuit will be quickly dismissed for lack of standing. Really, the concerns are all theoretical: no school in Arizona has been stripped of federal funds over the bathroom issue.

“The lawsuit filed is bogus,” Jensen says.

If it stands, she’s afraid it will be a long and ugly battle. But she’s confident the federal government’s position will be upheld. Still, “I have no doubt Brnovich is going to continue to push this as long as he can gain any political advantage out of it.”

Planned Parenthood Arizona President Bryan Howard says in a media statement that “everyone should be able to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity, and that transgender people, like everyone else, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.”

“In the past year, we’ve fought to stop the truly appalling rhetoric targeting the LGBTQ community, especially transgender and gender nonconforming people in regards to sex education,” Howard’s statement says. “The people behind this lawsuit are going after transgender children, many of whom are already targets of bullying and discrimination. These politicians are pushing a political agenda that promotes hate and harassment, and all over a false idea of who transgender people really are. In January 2016 polling, 83 percent of Arizonans believe that politicians have no business passing legislation that shames LGBTQ people. This is another attack to leave our youth feeling marginalized or ashamed of who they are.”

All Dena wants is for her daughter to be happy and feel safe. If she wants to wear a dress to school, she should. If she has to pee, she should use the girls’ bathroom, without fearing she’ll be harassed.

“I want to raise my child in an accepting, loving world,” Dena says. “The transgender community is under attack. It is sad that this is our world. Ignorant. I am appalled. All my child wants is to be treated the gender she feels. They should not be set apart from everyone else.”

This article appears in Jun 2-8, 2016.

I was born and raised in Guatemala City, Guatemala. I moved to Tucson about 10 years ago. Since I was old enough to enjoy reading, I developed an interest in writing, and telling stories through different...

40 replies on “Toilet Politics”

  1. Sorry but people can’t see feelings. They see faces and they watch actions. You may be developing preconceived notions that are not accurate. I have to guess that every child is confused when the teacher says girls on one side and boys on the other. And then a girl goes to the boys side, or vice versa. I’m already confused.

  2. What does Planned Parenthood have as standing in this issue?

    So non-trans children are allowed to face and feel stressed and confused, but a cross dressed trans but a not surgically altered child prevails. How much should we budget for these .003% or less of our population in the educational budget? The only ones left marginalized by these threats are the rest of the population and the Lawyer Liars like Liary and Barack get rich off of these lawsuits.

    We should prosecute or expel on the actual instance of events for trans people not on the ill defined or possible “feelings” of safety or comfort of any group…

  3. Well folks, here it goes.

    I actually saw footage of Police Officers in a Chicago School forcefully removing a girl from the restroom, because she was dressed like a guy, Jeans, T shirt, breasts showing under the shirt, but with a short haircut…while her friends are screaming that she’s a girl.

    All because some girl in the restroom felt uncomfortable because she thought that she was he.

    I can’t wait to see the lawsuit, along with the police officers being reprimanded in the newspapers for not being able to tell a girl from a guy, and a false charge filed against the moron who started it. Bye the way.. it was two male officers who went in to get her out of the restroom.

    It is almost impossible to tell who is who, when they start wearing opposites clothing.

    I even dated a transgender woman twice before she let me into her secret world. Beautiful woman who had gone the full transition.. you can’t tell, you really can’t tell.

    And my ex wife, who did laser hair removal, actually did a Brazilian Hair Removal on a client, only to find out she had professionally danced with him before becoming a laser tech, and before he became a she. She could not tell the difference, and she is one of the top tech in Dallas, working with a world famous Plastic Surgeon.

    Amazing, just how stupid some people have gotten.

    More violence will be perpetrated on the transgenders than on any child.

    And you morons call yourself Christians… You couldn’t tell Christ from a Hippy.. God knows how many times you have used his name in vain, while turning him away because He looked different.

  4. You have to help me here mom. By your own words, she’s called a girl and her. I think at the age of six, it’s difficult to say that the daughter is transgender. “She” may change her mind when she becomes a teenager. Weird situation for all.

  5. I’m sorry but I was lost in the first two sentences. Can you diagram it for me? maybe a flow chart?

  6. Trans-Gender Pitaniello identity lost or whatever, Chicago is last place to look for as an example. The Democrats machine claims to worry about Black Lives while more a killed there and kept in poverty than anywhere else. Their school system is a farce, no education going on in the same neighborhoods and you focus on transgender crime?

    Perhaps you are from those Dem union dominated schools because your logic is incomprehensible as is the rationale and implementation of Democratic social engineering amid security and economic failure!!

  7. Joe, How about this.
    I’m a conservative Republican.. one of the few that hasn’t gone Batschit Crazy like the rest of the party, and WILL probably vote for a democrat this November, because this party has nothing left to offer America, including leadership and governship.

    I just happened to mention that article, but there are many other stories out there about the problems being caused, not by the transgenders, who have been around for over twenty years in anoniimity, but by modern day thugs.

    Democrat, Liberal economic Failure.. Bubba Joe, our economy is still holding up the world economy, While two terms of a Republican Administration tanked the damned thing.

    You might want to revisit some of your beliefs. You’re falling in line with some of the most backwards states in our country, that subsist off Government handouts to keep from bankrupting…oh.. They’re all Republican States… WTF do you think about that?

  8. Yea, a 6-year old has the mental capacity to decide they are not really a boy, the sex they were born and will remain for the rest of their natural life, but that they are a girl, which they can never be.

    Parts changes do not change ones sex.

    Mom, seek help for your son.

  9. Do a bit of reading on the topic. Young people, children know. They know before their parents, or often while their parents are in denial. This is not a choice. Who, even a child would want to bring to themselves the hate, resentment, social bias, teasing, bullying, and gender racism visible in these laws, letters, and ignorant blowhards? People thought for some time that homosexuality was a choice. Who would choose a lifestyle that the uneducated and desensitized populace discriminates upon?
    Really, bathroom issues are basic, why do we care where people poop as long as they do so discretely, and wash their hands after.

  10. Liberals have brought us a government so intrusive we’re told what to eat, where to pee and that our very breath is destroying the planet.

    Liberal Facism

  11. Used to be democrats did not want to be called liberals. Liberals did not want to called socialists. And socialists did not want to be called communists.

    They are what they are. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  12. Wow! I just discovered the perfect couple.

    A match made in heaven.

    Wrong Again and Joellen Simply.

    Congratulations on your combined ignorance.

  13. How does a six year old come to the conclusion they were born the wrong gender in the first place? At that age children are more or less gender ambiguous and shouldn’t know what a trans person is. Did the mother just want a daughter and raised her son as such, putting these thoughts in their head? Considering how anti-male some feminists can be, I could believe it.

  14. Dear What, Again?
    Think about what you just wrote…
    I assume you are referring to Michelle Obama’s diet initiative. It’s a suggestion. Have you no sense of nuance? No one tells us what to eat except corporate entities such as McDonalds, and other franchises. You are welcome and encouraged to eat anything you like. Do you want a gallon big slurpy, but cannot find one in gallon size, just by 2 1/2 gallon. Want to smoke, vape, do medical weed, drink alcohol, do so. Eat a Sonoran dog wrapped in bacon, go vegan, veggie, pescatarian, I see no one from the government stopping me. I welcome regulation insuring what I eat is safe, fresh, and not riddled with toxins.
    No government entity has told me where to pee. In fact they are saying pee where you identify. I can still pee where I have been peeing, no pressure other than that from my bladder. How about government involvement in a woman’s right to choose, I’ll bet you don’t mind that kind of involvement. Now wash your hands after peeing….only a suggestion, not a government mandate.

  15. I am Dena’s mom. I am the grandma of the child of whom she speaks. I am from the generations of people who sucked it up, sent our pregnant daughters off to birth when she wasn’t “properly” married (my sister, who ended her life). I’m from a time when SHAME was the most favorite word a parent could feel or utter. WHY? Are we so small-minded that our pea-brains can’t encompass anything that doesn’t please us? Hasn’t enough misery and shame been felt and blood spilled to cause us to pause and think and change with the times? How many had that uncle/aunt or brother/sister who didn’t quite fit in the skin they were given? Isn’t it sad we haven’t evolved and realized we’re all in the same boat if not the same skin? I don’t care what gender, color, political bent or whatever my grandchildren may be. As long as they love me and call me gramma, I’ll fear for them, but I’ll love them even more for their differences. The enemy is anyone who dares think their opinion means anything more than just being one opinion. The semantics could then be worked out in a loving fashion that keeps everyone safe. We should teach our children that there are many differences among us, but many more likenesses than could ever be simply put- many pitfalls, and many smooth, well-paved roads, and then let them live and choose as is their right to do. We are from yesterday, and our opinions have maimed and killed many in our day. It’s their turn. Give everyone an even playing field, parents, and then turn them loose to (hopefully) do much better than we did. Personally, I hope my prodigy will all find their niche as we all must do. Hopefully, there won’t be a shortage of niches, where the “Stepford society” can function as well as all the rest, in peace. The world is large, the minds are small. Expand.

  16. Ceetaz…..
    Beautifully written. What a wonderful grandmother you are.
    I wish you and your ENTIRE family only love and respect.

  20. Great link Ken. What happens when their “feelings” change midstream, so to speak?

  22. You bring up an excellent point, Debbie T, one every parent of a transgender/gender dysphoric child asks themselves many times in the course of their child’s young life- what if they are wrong? What if the child’s feelings “change midstream”, I think you mockingly put it. What then? The situation must be carefully weighed by many professionals through the years. That and living with the child and watching how their mind works, constantly analyzing to pick up the smallest of clues in order to discredit your child. But once you take that giant step to respond to the pain your child is in, accept this is what you as a parent must do, you begin a terrifying and excruciating journey with that child. Not for sissies, for sure. To listen to you all, I’d think it was easy and doting to give in to that. Not so! Aside from the confusion and pain of actually being born with this, they must face the world of people like you who speak without knowing about that pain. I can’t blame you. I am Dena’s (in the article) mom, and that child is my grandchild. I fear what life in this cynical world will do to the mind of that beautiful child, but I stand behind her 100%. Read. Temper your thoughts to allow a little kindness in those thoughts. It isn’t easy, believe me, though I appreciate your comment, really.

  23. How does a six year-old even KNOW she’s transgender in the first place? It seems to me that this young boy needs some serious counseling and because his mother and grandmother are looney-lefty-anything-goes-if-it-feel-good-do-it-Liberals, this poor child is doomed. I’m 60-years old and I’m sick to death by what the Left is doing–to our country, our children, our future. Since Liberals have no sense of right and wrong, no moral compass and no sense of cause and effect, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is just fine an acceptable to them. This mindset is what caused a mother to dress her 6-year old boy in a dress and send him to school that way where he had to endure the inevitable bullying instead of getting the boy the counseling and therapy he needs if he’s to ever grow into a normal, happy, mentally stable adult. But Liberals don’t care about that. They don’t care about the consequences of their actions because they believe that their actions, no matter how detrimental to themselves, their children, other people, our county and society as a whole may be, they will always need to feel morally superior to those who disagree with them and everyone who DARES disagree will be destroyed! In my opinion, a single unisex bathroom seems like a reasonable compromise for these kids if they’re not going to get the kind of real help that they need. But, then again, when you’re dealing with the mental disorder known as Liberalism, compromise is just another four-letter word. Liberal facists are incapable of compromise of any kind. Shouting people down and shouting people up is more the Liberal’s style. There is NOTHING “liberating” about Liberalism. Liberalism is slavery! Progressive = Regressive, Tolerance = Intolerance, Diversity = divide and conquer, Right is wrong and wrong is right! Freedom of Speech =. “Only if you agree with us”
    Frankly, I believe that the union-dominated public school system should go the way of the Dodo bird. Parents should demand school choice! The states that filed suit against this massive federal overreach, should seriously consider telling Obama what he can do with his federal funding and seek private financing and state funding for our schools. Vouchers for qualified home schoollers and distance learning should be part of this plan as well. P.S. As an afterthought, any parent who sends his or her six year old X son out dressed as a girl should be investigated! Something is not right here. It’s time America woke up and realized that all roads to hell go left!

  24. Just because your moral compass is framed by conservative evangelical mindsets, doesn’t mean your moral compass is encompassing the totality of reality. Expand your definition of compassion and kindness.
    Also, what kid that age really wants thier parent to pick out thier clothing? Most I know dress themselves, and thier parents make sure the clothes are clean and whether appropriate.
    Regardless of what many seem to desire, there still, technically, is a separation of church and state. So, please keep your modern bible translations out of politics, just like many deride sharia la, your born again motives are blatent.
    No ism is destroying this place, hate is.

  25. This is complicated for individuals and challenging for institutions. If the goal is to prevent anyone from getting hurt or abused or bullied, then it is simpler. Basic safety and security are not the property of right or left, but there is room for decent discourse on all sides.

  26. LiberalFree2016, from your lips to my ears- I am also a Conservative- and as Ultra as you, before having to step out of my Left/Right thinking and stop to consider the bucket of worms that is my grandchild’s life at present. I guess if you can call us loony, I could suggest to you the possibility of your being delusional, but I won’t resort to name-calling. The simple facts are not Left and Right- the simple facts are the health and well-being of my grandchild (who, by the way, IS seeing a counselor on a regular basis to HELP her with this situation, and to teach her how to deal with the hurtful opinions of people like you). Consequently, I do understand your sentiments very well, however fascistic they may be. I envy you the tidy, childless world you must live in. The goal here is to face this head-on, not bury it under hurtful fear. I respect your opinion. Please respect mine.

  28. Cleetaz:

    It’s not name calling, it’s an obvious fact. The rant about the “evil liberals” is WAY off topic here. This is not, well at least it shouldn’t be, a political issue. It is a human issue and LiberalFree is obviously missing several cards from the deck. This person could probably benefit from professional help and if not, I can’t imagine the delusions could get any worse.

  31. I believe you got that backwards, Sweetheart. You called me cold for saying that Fitz needs a comb. I then pointed out how you wished that What, Again either get hit by a bus or choke on a chicken bone. Get your facts straight.

  32. Hey, Confused Weisenheimer! As I have previously stated:

    I did NOT call you cold for saying Fitz needed a comb. I stated that you come across as cold hearted due to previous posts involving disparaging remarks against liberals, democrats, immigrants who are trying to improve their family’s lives, a certain male writer which you attempt to belittle by calling him a girl and anyone who has the common sense to point out your nonsense.
    Also, I NEVER wished any of those things upon Wrong, Again. If you go back and read what I typed CAREFULLY you may actually see the light and realize that.

    You REALLY have a problem with paying attention to detail. I’m not sure if it’s because of a learning disability or if it’s just to make your straw man rebuttals attempt to make sense.
    You got served for a second time. If you don’t want a third one to occur, then “get your facts straight”.

  33. Democrat Commie. You wrote what you wrote. I read what I read. If I was so dumb, you’d ignore me.

  34. Conservative Wanker:

    Yep. I wrote (typed?) what I wrote and you (as usual) read it without paying attention to, or not caring about, detail. Strike three, you’re out and I’m done adding fuel to this trolling obsession of yours. Have fun misinterpreting someone else’s posts because I will be ignoring you about this issue from here on out. It’s obvious as to why you are ignored by certain people when you rant, because it’s impossible to explain logic to the stubbornly thick.

    Good luck with that elsewhere.

  36. You would have a long time ago if you’d just learn how to shut up.

    By which I mean quit typing.

    I figured I should add that last sentence because of your failure to fully comprehend what you read.

  37. There technically is no separation of church and state. It is simply the limits the left has tried to put on free speech.

    The USC does not allow the government to establish a religion. That is all it says.

    First Amendment

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

  38. I am a 47 year old Transsexual female for those that claim a 6 year old just can not know what they are as far as gender are mistaken I was 5 years old once I knew then my parents are not as understanding sympathetic or supportive as the parents are today. Those who scoff at the idea that a person can not claim gender opposite of sex anatomy are just going by negative public opinion by the false or out dated medical science or even taking false misleading made up junk science as medical fact. All the major credited health organizations of the United States are in agreement as to what Transsexualism is what its cause is and its not a psychological condition disease or defect what the American college of Pediatrics is pushing along with the quack Paul McHugh are in contrast to what the American Medical Association AMA what the American Psychological Association APA what the American Pediatrics Association have to say regarding the treatment and care of Transgender children and adults. You fear what you dont understand and frankly some of you are dumb as a box of rocks you lack sympathy empathy and understanding your steeped in ignorance intolerance and out right prejudice. Nothing you can do is going to stop Transgender rights and equality from advancing the constitution is on our side several courts of ruled in our favor much to your sadness and anger.

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  40. Misogynists to the right, victims to the left. I’m a pony. Please label the center bathroom for me.

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