Questions I’d love to have answered in 2014:
• Is it true that for the upcoming congressional elections, the Tea Party has settled on the battle cry “Defund Obamacare!” because “We want poor people (who tend to vote for Democrats) to get sick and die!” doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker?
• During the week of Feb. 17-23, will Tiger Woods be at the Accenture Match Play Championship at the Ritz-Carlton in sorta-Marana or in Sochi, Russia, watching his honey, Lindsey Vonn, at the Winter Olympics?
• Will the Republican Party possibly be able to go a sixth straight year of intentionally dragging down the U. S. economy just so Barack Obama won’t look good?
• Will right-wing talk-radio host James T. Harris get his ears cleaned out so he’ll stop yelling all the damn time? Or does he actually think that sounds good?
• Will the United States team advance to the Round of 16 in the World Cup in Brazil this summer? And if it does, will as many as 16,000 real American people be willing to watch the game?
• Will U.S. Rep. Ron Barber challenge Martha McSally in the Republican primary or will he continue to insist that he’s a Democrat?
Actually, there’s a weird precedent for that. The 1950 race for U.S. senator from California pitted up-and-coming Republican Richard Nixon against three-term Democratic U.S. Rep. Helen Gahagan Douglas. A slimeball from the jump, Nixon took full advantage of the growing anti-communist mood in the country and referred to his opponent as “the Pink Lady.” It was in that same election that the use of the term “Tricky Dick” first appeared. (So effective was the smear campaign and so pervasive was the Red Scare that Nixon’s future rival, John F. Kennedy, and Kennedy’s bitch-ass father—the scoundrel Joseph P. Kennedy—both gave money to Nixon’s campaign.)
Back then, California, long the home of stupid laws, allowed people to run in both primaries. If, by chance, they happened to win both races, they wouldn’t have to worry about the general election. It was an early example of the rat-f—ing that came to prominence in the 1972 (Watergate) election. Nixon ran in both primaries in 1950 and then used shameful Red-baiting to beat Douglas in the general.
Helen Gahagan Douglas was married to two-time Oscar winner Melvyn Douglas. After the way his wife was treated in the 1950 election, Melvyn Douglas pretty much despised Richard Nixon for the rest of his life. He wasn’t alone.
• Does anybody else think that if UA men’s basketball coach Sean Miller were to attempt a smile, he might break something?
• Will oft-injured Kenzie Fowler be able to return to her freshman all-American form and lead the UA women back to the promised land of the College Softball World Series? And will that jerk of an umpire who waited until the World Series to mess with Fowler’s mechanics please end up umping beer league slow pitch in Skokie, Ill.?
• Is there anything left for the anti-education Arizona Legislature to do? They’ve already:
a. Slashed funding for schools far beyond what was made necessary by the Great Recession;
b. Reduced teachers’ salaries across the state;
c. Destroyed teachers’ unions, which had long been held to be The Great Evil by rich white people who couldn’t understand why a teacher couldn’t get by on a starting salary of $28,000 a year and/or needed legal protection from the capricious, petty and often vindictive actions of school administrators who, more often than not, are just trying to cover their own asses;
d. Refused to give teachers the Proposition 301 money that is guaranteed by the Arizona Constitution! It was only after being smacked around by the courts that the legislators restored the funding. But then the whiny little maggots turned around and slashed funding from another source, leaving public education in even worse shape than before;
e. Continued to allow charter school administrators to spend state tax money any way they want with no oversight whatsoever (imagine the outcry from the public and the Legislature if any other department in the state tried to get away with that), and;
f. Expanded the socialistic welfare program for the rich and well-off by pushing for a voucher program that uses taxpayer money to send kids to private schools.
What could possibly be next? Public flogging of science teachers?
• Will my friend, (Republican National Committeeman) Bruce Ash PLEASE stop using the term “Democrat Party?” Rush Limbaugh does it, but Limbaugh is the poster child for public buffoonery. Ash should know better. I’ve asked Bruce nicely, I’ve chided him on the air, I’ve called him out in this column and still he persists.
Bruce, do you know why I don’t refer to people on your side of the aisle as the “Republic Party?” Because I don’t want to sound like an idiot.
This article appears in Jan 2-8, 2014.
Don’t want to sound like an idiot ? Too late. Nixon a slimeball, but Clinton getting a B.J. from a girl young enough to be his daughter makes him cool? Tea Party folks and Republicians really want the economy to tank and poor people to get sick and die ? C’mon Man listen to yourself. You’re the sick one. Kennedy’s ” bitch ass father ” ? Very civil. Very, very civil. As far as Miller goes, I have no opinion on him or U. of A. basketball. However, how about if you attempted to get a real job, what would you break ? Probably nothing as you never had ’em. I weep for you, Pulitzer Tommy.
P.S.
Signed up yet ?
Uhhh, CW, evidently you don’t mind sounding like a buffoon – to even put Nixswine in the same sentence with Billy-boy is to come across – well, like an idiot. So, please DON’T listen to yourself!
Buffoon ? Idiot ? I guess you missed O’Bummers speech when he came to visit our fair city a few years ago. You know, the one about being civil. For what it’s worth, I thought old Tricky Dick sucked too. I even have my Nixon count down calander laying around here someplace. Alot of us old hippies had one back then. I remember sayings like ” Dick Nixon, before he dicks you” Or ” don’t change Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in 72″ I just find it amusing that Sunday Catholics like Pulitzer Tommy will rag on Nixon, but have nothing to say about a sick pervert like B.J. Bill.
Tom,
The meandering, disjointed triad you have written makes me suspect you must have visited Colorado to take advantage of their new law allowing for the recreational use of marijuana before writing this piece. In any event, all of the supposed evils you place upon Republicans, conservatives, rich white people and the Tea Party are so blatantly mischaracterized as to qualify as lunacy.
Even as a liberal operative for the “Democrat Party,” you go off the scale of paranoia. With all of these supposed worries, you must be a miserable person indeed. I suggest a second trip to Colorado to help you chill a bit.
As an aside, I applauded Colorado for the move to legalize MJ. It is my hope that someday all of the drugs that cause so much hurt and distress in America will be legally accessible. I have personally seen the devastation that America’s anti-drug war has vested on the peoples of Bolivia, Peru, Columbia and Mexico. Thousands of good, innocent people dead or enslaved or living in fear in other countries because of the American drug culture. It is an American problem we have exported, not a problem for the producing countries, but they suffer the most.
By the way, I like Rush Limbaugh and listen to him most days. I have even been able to listen to him, via the internet, in China, Venezuela, Cambodia, Laos and other countries that you would find more to your liking than the US.
Tom: Exactly correct about the shrill and way over the top James Harris. He screams, he yells, he makes no sense whatsoever. How jokes like him get on the radio is a mystery, Could be just because he’s black and a conservative. ?? Not many of those around. Just hope he’s not around for long.
Het Bisbee Boy…stuff it.
When are you guys going to figure this out? Since I retired several years ago, I’m always looking for new hobbies. Annoying the Left is one I seem to excel at. So, keep clicking those dislikes. Shows me I’m good at it. The more, the merrier!!
CW, if your primary goal in retirement is making a fool of yourself on a message board, I’d say “Mission Accomplished” old boy. My advice – get a legit hobby, you’ll be less nasty. Maybe.
No one takes anyone seriously who uses hackneyed, overused, spent, “effed-out” plays on a president’s name like “O’Bummer.” It’s like most bumper stickers- mildly clever the first time you see it, but it grows some pretty long ear hair fast.
At last, recognition. Greta, for starters I have many hobbys. Motorcycle riding, target shooting and believe it or not coin collecting. I just find that annoying the Left is also lots of fun. As far as nasty goes,you need to read Pulitzer Tommys column a little closer. Republicians want poor people to get sick and die, they also want to ruin the economy just to make OBummer ( hope that didn’t annoy you, Al) look bad, slime ball, bitch-ass father, rat f**king, jerk of an umpire and poster child for public buffoonery all in one column. But, I’m the nasty one. Don’t believe me, re-read his column. I would love to hear you respond to that one. Not that you will.
Looks like Greta’s another one hit wonder!!