Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Cinema Clips: The Great Wall

Posted By on Wed, Mar 1, 2017 at 1:30 PM


Matt Damon stars in this mess, and this may very well represent the low point of his career, a career that has included the atrocious Jason Bourne and Hereafter.

He probably thought he was in safe hands because The Great Wall is helmed by director Zang Yimou, maker of such masterpieces as Hero, House of Flying Daggers and—one of my very favorite movies—The Road Home. Damon was probably all like, “Hey, Yimou is calling the shots. If anything, I’m going to look good in this pic!” Then … he saw his wardrobe. A wardrobe that begins with big furry wigs and beards, and then declines into a sad man-bun wig as the film progresses. He looks silly from frame one.

He sounds silly, too. He’s attempting some sort of accent here, a cross between Irish, Scottish and just plain dickweed. Every time he talks in this movie, it hurts the ears and the soul—especially the souls of those who love Matt Damon. It’s all in the service of a wannabe period epic about non-distinctive, stupid looking CGI monsters attacking China’s Great Wall, with Damon’s character being the savior with a bow. It’s a meandering, dull, ugly waste of everybody’s time.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Previously in the Range

More by Bob Grimm

  • Barking Mad

    Isle of Dogs is a real tail-wagger
    • Apr 19, 2018
  • Silent Running

    A Quiet Place is a disquieting sci-fi experience
    • Apr 12, 2018
  • Blockers

    • Apr 11, 2018
  • More »
Today | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue
PiYo Strength Class

PiYo Strength Class @ Floor Polish

Thursdays, 4:30-5:30 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Staff Pick

Tucson International Mariachi Conference

The Tucson International Mariachi Conference was created to pass mariachi traditions to the next generation. 4/26 @… More

@ AVA: Anselmo Valencia Tori Amphitheater Thu., April 26, 6-8 p.m., Fri., April 27, 7-9 p.m. and Sat., April 28, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Casino del Sol, 5655 W. Valencia Road.

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. Conservatives Told: Keep Criticizing Teachers, But Not About Their Pay or Perks (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. The Strike Is On: Arizona Teachers Prepared for Walkout Next Week (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. Eve of a Strike: Teachers and Districts Prep To Walk out of Schools This Week (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. Antigone Books To Be Sold to Three Employees (If They Can Raise Some More Cash) (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. The Weekly List: 17 Things To Do In Tucson This Week (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2018 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation