Monday, April 6, 2015

The New Yorker Borowitz Report: Ted Cruz's Constant 'Jesus' Remarks Drive Millions to Atheism

Posted By on Mon, Apr 6, 2015 at 1:00 PM

  • Courtesy of

The New Yorker's Andy Borowitz published a satirical piece this morning saying atheist leaders allege Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz's repeated "Jesus Christ" campaign remarks has driven millions of people in the U.S. to look into atheism.  

From the piece:
Since Sen. Cruz (R-Texas) announced his candidacy two weeks ago with the words “God isn’t done with America yet,” a substantial number of Americans “have begun seriously questioning the existence of God,” said Carol Foyler, the executive director of the American Society of Atheists.

“It’s been amazing,” Foyler said. “We’re getting calls from people who are curious about atheism for the first time in their lives. And when we ask them what got them thinking about it, they all say the same thing: ‘I just heard Ted Cruz talk.’"
Borowitz's piece goes on to allege the American Society of Atheists' phones were ringing "off the hook" over Cruz's recently released campaign ad about the "transformation power of Christ."

This was a funny quote from the piece:
“As an atheist, I naturally don’t believe in the power of Christ to transform people,” she said. “But I definitely believe in the power of Ted Cruz to transform people into atheists.”
Cruz's remarks sometimes sound like something that was made up by a satire publication like the Borowitz Report, but no. His ridiculous statements are very much real, and we might as well get used to them, because they're going to be shoved down our throats for the next few months. 

Here's one of my favorite incoherent quotes by Cruz. This one happened when he stood on the Senate floor for hours expressing his dislike for Obamacare in 2013. There are more listed on TIME's top 10 best Cruz quotes:
“I will credit my father, he invented … green eggs and ham. He did it two ways. The easy way was he would put green food coloring in … But if you take spinach and mix it into the eggs, the eggs turn green … I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.”
And the Los Angeles Times gathered all of these funny memes based on Cruz's shenanigans. 

  • Courtesy of @GrnEyedMandy on Twitter

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