Thursday, October 16, 2014
They deliver those sandwiches so fast, and they do an Unwich, that lettuce wrap sandwich you eat with less guilt after eating that big bag of Doritos washed down with that bottle of wine the night before ... but then read about how they make their employees sign a noncompete and think about that nice young man or woman who delivered your sandwich. No wonder they are so damn fast.
Can you imagine the nightmare if numerous companies started doing this and it was considered an acceptable practice? Unemployment would skyrocket, the economy would tank due to a lack of spending — we'd be completely hosed. While I'm pretty sure a non-compete like this is actually legal (especially considering the US's repeated insistence on placing the needs of corporations above those of actual human beings), the amount of economic harm for which widespread use of this practice could theoretically be responsible could be catastrophic. What does Jimmy John's care though, right? Moar profit for their dickhead founder who donates to human skidmark Sheriff Joe Arpaio, mandates that employees be fired for unionization, and hunts endangered species for sport!*
We can get mad at Chick-Fil-A all we want over their stupid, regressive stance on marriage equality, but at least that's not an issue with the potential to poke a giant hole in the bottom of the shared boat of the US economy. I don't just want Jimmy John's non-compete agreement gone, I genuinely hope that whoever came up with it winds up in a federal penitentiary.