Friday, October 18, 2013

So, Christine Jones Is (Probably) a Terrible Candidate for Governor

Posted By on Fri, Oct 18, 2013 at 5:18 PM

While the Tucson Weekly is still holding on to its semi-official tenative endorsement of Al Melvin for the Republican nomination in the 2014 guberatorial race, Christine Jones is racing up our GOP candidate power poll based on the above video, where the former GoDaddy attorney seems to misunderstand nearly everything about Arizona politics and geography in one fell swoop.

Things I learned from the video, shot at some sort of fundraiser for Arpaio at Phoenix's Standup Live (so maybe these are jokes...please tell me these are supposed to be jokes):

1. Christine Jones is willing to show up at a fundraiser for Joe Arpaio.

2. Christine Jones believes everyone in Arizona loves Joe Arpaio.

3. When Christine Jones is referring to things "that Sheriff Joe does that nobody knows about," she's meaning positive things like "put[ting] out water so people won't die coming across the Rio Grande," and not treating prisoners like subhumans or breaking civil rights laws. (FYI, I'm pretty sure he's not putting water out for immigrants anywhere, ever.)

4. Christine Jones believes the Rio Grande is in Arizona. (It's not.)

5. Christine Jones believes that 50 percent of Arpaio's "force" is Hispanic. (Turns out it's 24 percent.)

6. Christine Jones believes Arpaio "acts with integrity and honesty."

7. She thinks it's a good idea to sing a song from Wicked in a public place, even though she doesn't really know the lyrics and there's barely a connection to the point she's seemingly trying to make.

Not every public appearance is going to be of this caliber, surely, but Christine Jones, you're someone we're going to keep our eyes on, because if you keep this up, you could push Cap'n Melvin from the top of our endorsement list.

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