Dammit, every time I think I'm done writing things about Amy's Baking Company, they pull me back in.

According to Consumerist (via Radar Online), apparently those wacky Bouzaglos are at it again (or, perhaps, remain at it), as they allegedly make their employees sign a contract prior to employment.

As one might assume, this contract appears to have been written by people who don't understand how the real world works, as it includes terms that seem...a bit harsh for working in a damn restaurant.

For instance (and note that everything in blockquotes can be considered [sic]'d right off of the bat):

5). Any attitude will result in immediate termination.

Well, I guess that's why poor waitress Katy Cipriano was fired instantly after asking Amy a question. READ THE CONTRACT, SUCKER.

17) The recipes and techniques that have been developed by Amy at ABC are exclusive and shall remain confidential. Any removal of recipes will be considered theft.

Considering that "America is about "ressling" as the Bouzaglos put it a few months ago, I'm not certain that they've got much to worry about regarding recipe theft.

20) By signing this contract, you are hereby accepting that you will be employed exclusively by ABC Amy's Baking Co. LLC. And shal not work for any competitor within a 50 mile radius of ABC within one year of termination or voluntary Resignation, without prior authorization from ABC. Amy's Baking Co LLC.

ahahahah what

So we're clear, that would mean that you'd be unable to work ANYWHERE in the Phoenix metropolitan area.

Your closest job opportunity within the food industry would probably be the In-N-Out Burger in Casa Grande -- no jumping ship across the strip mall for you!

There's so, so much more to it -- but I can't share more with you for fear of my brain collapsing in on itself in an attempt to understand the madness.

Head to Radar Online for more.