Friday, March 1, 2013

Tom Goes To The Chair: Ruminations on 'Girls,' Orgasms and Urination

Posted By on Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I once had a friendly disagreement with a female acquaintance. She asked me what was so great about being a guy. Seeking, as always, to raise the level of discourse, I said, “Well, one of the great things about being a guy is that you can pee outdoors.”

She smiled and did that scales of justice thing with her hands. “Hmm,” she said, quite full of herself, “pee outdoors. Multiple orgasms.”

I’ve always felt that the whole multiple-orgasm thing was wildly overrated. I mean, if you come within shouting distance of doing it right, one orgasm should be plenty for anybody.

Which brings me to this week’s episode of Girls. The female characters on the show never have multiple orgasms, because in order to have multiples, you first have to have one and the women on the show are so jaded and so willing to hook up with just about anybody, orgasms are a distant rumor.

However, while Girls creator/writer/star Lena Dunham has taken enjoyable (not to mention respectful and responsible) sex off the table, she did do something in the latest episode to advance the twentysomething slacker post-feminist agenda. Her character peed outdoors. Twice. And they sorta showed it.

That’s what passed for the highlights of the episode, which was built around skankmeister Jessa going to visit her burnt-out hippie daddy out in the country, perchance to give the viewer the opportunity to see why Jessa is so freakin’ annoying and irresponsible. Okay, so now we know. That’s doesn’t make her I’m-pretty-so-I-can-get-away-with-anything routine any easier to put up with. And because Dunham is the creator/writer/star of the show, her character, Hannah, went along with Jessa, mostly so she could pee outdoors.

Hannah also had sex outdoors with a guy she had met earlier that day. She complimented him on the way he turned the top of his turtleneck sweater down and then jumped in the bushes with him for 30 seconds of rhythm-less humping because she didn’t know (in her words) if he was “sexy in a loser-ly way or just a loser.”

Oh yeah, Rolling Stone put Dunham on the cover this week and referred to Girls as TV’s funniest show. The entire cover story involved Dunham’s various neuroses and not one word about why the show is funny. (Mostly because it isn’t. Ever.)

I remember reading an article about Elmore Leonard (the genius behind “Justified”). He wanted to be a writer, but couldn’t find time. So, he started getting up early, but he’d make a pot of coffee and read the morning paper. Pretty soon, it was time to go to work and he hadn’t written anything. He eventually forced himself to write before he could have his first cup of coffee in the morning.

Along those lines, having painted myself into a corner by promising to re-cap each episode of Girls, from now on until the end of the season (which can’t come soon enough), I’ll write about good TV before I write the re-cap because when I do it the other way around, it scrapes the innards out of my soul.

I’ll start next week.

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