Monday, September 3, 2012

Chuck Norris' Family Claims Obama Re-election Will Bring "1,000 Years Of Darkness"

Posted By on Mon, Sep 3, 2012 at 2:00 PM

Chuck Norris, action film star and the man responsible for creating giraffes after having kicked a horse in the chin, has taken to YouTube, begging for the "30 million evangelical Christians" who sat out last Election Day to make it to the polls this year.

Norris (who is reportedly able to speak braille,) and his wife, Gina, spend nearly a minute reciting quotations from Ronald Reagan and Edmund Burke, intended to inspire voters to make sure that Obama is run on a rail back to Chicago, where, presumably, he would continue conspiring to make America a socialist paradise from an underground lair below the Shedd Aquarium.

As you may know already, the 72-year-old Norris (who is said to be alive today because the Grim Reaper is too afraid to collect him) is no stranger to involving himself in political discussion, going on record in 2009 to claim that, had Obamacare existed 2000 years ago, Mary of Nazareth would have had to abort Jesus Christ.

Tags: , , , , ,

Comments (15)

Showing 1-15 of 15

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-15 of 15

Add a comment

Today | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun
Meditation and Buddhist study

Meditation and Buddhist study @ Sky Island Zen

Tuesdays, Saturdays

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Staff Pick

DO(OM) Yoga

Slow & low will be the tempo in this yin-based yoga class, inspired by a doom metal… More

@ Floor Polish Sundays, 8-9 p.m. 408 N 4th Avenue

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. I Know I Said I Wouldn't Give Teachers Advice, But . . . (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. Cinema Clips: Cargo (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. Arlo Needs a Home (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. The Weekly List: 23 Things To Do In Tucson This Week (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. A Georgia College That Holds Onto, Then Graduates Its Minority Students (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2018 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation