Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Today in Strange First Sentences of News Stories

Posted By on Tue, Jul 31, 2012 at 5:00 PM

From the Oregonian, a story that turns out far better than one might expect:


A man who was intoxicated and masturbating to pornography when he drove a stolen car through the crime scene tape surrounding the homicide of a teen-age boy last year will not have to register as a sex offender.

In case you don't feel like actually reading the story, the once-intoxicated masturbator has been participating in drug treatment and has apparently cleaned up his life, leading to the judge allowing the man to withdraw his guilty plea for public indecency. Hooray for happy endings, right?

Tags: , , ,

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

Previously in the Range

More by Dan Gibson

Today | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue
Guided Tea Tasting

Guided Tea Tasting @ Seven Cups

Fridays, 3-3:30 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Staff Pick

James G. Davis (1931-2016): Down at the Tower Bar, A Retrospective

Celebrating the career of Tucson artist James G. Davis with a selection of paintings and prints made… More

@ Etherton Gallery Sat., Sept. 9, 7-10 p.m. and Tuesdays-Saturdays, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Continues through Nov. 11 135 S. Sixth Ave.

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. New TV Ad Asks McCain To Stop Latest GOP Healthcare Disaster (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. Grijalva Arrested Protesting Trump's Immigration Policies (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. A Little Late To the 'Patriotically Correct' Party (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. HOCO Fest Countdown—The, Um, Effervescent Lana Del Rabies Picks the Five Albums That Changed Her Life! (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. Looking at Tucson Unified's AzMERIT Scores: Another Approach (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2017 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation