Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Today in Strange First Sentences of News Stories

Posted By on Tue, Jul 31, 2012 at 5:00 PM

From the Oregonian, a story that turns out far better than one might expect:


A man who was intoxicated and masturbating to pornography when he drove a stolen car through the crime scene tape surrounding the homicide of a teen-age boy last year will not have to register as a sex offender.

In case you don't feel like actually reading the story, the once-intoxicated masturbator has been participating in drug treatment and has apparently cleaned up his life, leading to the judge allowing the man to withdraw his guilty plea for public indecency. Hooray for happy endings, right?

Tags: , , ,

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

Previously in the Range

More by Dan Gibson

Today | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri
Saturday Tour & Tasting

Saturday Tour & Tasting @ Hamilton Distillery

Saturdays, 3-5 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Staff Pick

Carnival of Illusion: Magic, Mystery & Oooh La La!

This top-rated illusion show is "Revitalizing Magic" by blending an international travel theme with all the charms… More

@ Scottish Rite Grand Parlour Saturdays. Continues through April 14 160 South Scott Ave

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. Laughing Stock: The People's Pervert Does Christmas (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. Casa Video Top 10 (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. Facebook-Free Friday (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. Lil Peep Passes Away Before Show at The Rock (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. Trusting Entrepreneurs to Improve Education: A Cautionary Tale (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2017 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation