Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tucson Losing in Magazine Contest to Inferior Tennessee Town

Posted By on Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 5:00 PM


While I'm thrilled that Tucson is crushing Portland, Oregon in the largely meaningless poll conducted by Outside Magazine, for some reason our fair city is trailing Chattanooga, Tennessee with a few days left to go. Possibly you didn't know that you can vote every day? That you can win a trip to one of the other cities in the process? That failure shouldn't be an option?

Information you should know about Chattanooga [*]:

1. That the hit song "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" was originally an anthem for a return to the era of slavery and the Confederacy.
2. That the Little Debbie company, located in nearby Collegedale, has giant signs in their factory reading "Thank You For Making America's Children Fat And Lazy".
3. That the city charter of Chattanooga requires that residents spit angrily at the ground after saying the word "Tucson".
4. That the tow truck was invented in Chattanooga, and every time someone's car is towed, each of the city's residents gets a penny.

* - None of this is actually true.

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