Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Instead of Immigrants, Why Not Scapegoat Chupacabras?

Posted By on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 4:55 PM

During discussions on immigration reform, people desperate to prove we are living in desperate times often turn to FAIR, aka the Federation for American Immigration Reform. The acronym that sounds downright saintly, so how can they be wrong?

The organization has a lot of fans, many of whom love to comment on The Range to prove their desperate points. Capt. Al Melvin even got busy on Twitter during the past couple of weeks regarding the cost of "illegal aliens."

Love this one:

Illegal aliens cost AZ citizens 2-3 Bil $ per year. We must act now or we'll also lose AZ to them politically as has already happened in CA.
18 Mar

Here comes FAIR:

I urge everyone to check out the Federation on American Immigration Reform's website www.fairus.org which shows illegals cost AZ 2-3 Bil$/yr
17 Mar

OMG, bring your children indoors:

It is critical that we get control of the illegal alien situation in AZ. 20 to 30 % of people in AZ schools, prisons & med sys are illegals
17 Mar

Before Melvin starts tweeting about beheadings occurring outside the gates of SaddleBrooke, let's bring some sanity to the conversation and refer to the American Immigration Council's Immigration Policy Center. Maybe you don't like the center's lack of a fancy acronym or the fact that they are nonpartisan and actually use facts.

Go to the center's fact page to get info that will help Capt. Melvin and others get some much needed information before they send off erroneous tweets. Times are tough, and the state's Legislative majority is operating on failed policy, but rather than change, they realize now is the best time to blame immigrants for budget woes and just about everything else.

"But what about chupacabras?" you're probably asking right now. Well, it may not be obvious to Cappy Melvin and Russell Pearce, but I think Arizona has a bigger problem here. We've heard reports are increasing along the border regarding chupacabra sightings, and a few reports indicate this could be a bigger issue in larger urban areas.

After the jump is a handy list from the Discovery Channel on "How to Spot a Chupacabra." Keep it handy and stay safe.

So if you think you've seen a chupacabra in your midst, he shares this checklist "derived from a close analysis of alleged chupacabra discoveries and comparison to known vampires:"

1) Was the animal actually seen attacking other animals?

2) If it was, was it seen or videotaped sucking blood from its victim(s)?

3) Was the suspected chupacabra victim autopsied by a qualified veterinarian or medical pathologist?

4) Did this veterinarian or pathologist conclude that blood had actually been extracted from the animal?

5) Does the suspected chupacabra have a mouth structure that would allow it to suck out blood?

6) Has the chupacabra’s saliva been scientifically tested for anti-coagulant and anaesthetic properties?

7) Has the suspected chupacabra’s digestive tract been examined for specialized vampire structures?

8) Has the chupacabra’s stomach contents been examined to determine if it lived on a diet of blood?

9) Have samples of the suspected chupacabra been subjected to DNA sequencing?

10) Has testing of samples of the suspected chupacabra’s skin conclusively ruled out sarcoptic mange?

If you can answer yes to all of the above, you might very well have the world's first scientifically legit chupacabra.

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