Monday, August 7, 2006

Your Monday Morning News Update

Posted By on Mon, Aug 7, 2006 at 8:52 AM

-- So, wait a minute ... Gannett bought a college newspaper?!? THAT IS SO WRONG!

-- There's a "Joementum" joke here somewhere, I am sure, but it's too damn early on a Monday morning for me to find it.

-- And because I loooove mocking this idiot feature so ... in Saturday's Star, "Thorns and Flowers" took the edgy positions of giving kudos to someone in Flagstaff who sent a check to the police as pay for a motorcycle stolen almost four decades ago (gee, I guess nobody local did anything good for the Star to recognize); and a thorn to—I can't believe I am writing this—a dog. YES, THE STAR GAVE A THORN TO A FREAKIN' DOG. And what did this dog due to earn the Star's ire? It tore the head off of a teddy bear that belonged to Elvis.

Wow. I mean ... just wow.