Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Your Wednesday Morning News Update

Posted By on Wed, Jul 19, 2006 at 9:36 AM

-- Have you ever gone to a fast-food restaurant, when all you wanted was a cup of coffee? And there was only one register open, but fortunately, only one group of two people was in line ahead of you? But these people acted as if they had never been to that restaurant before, even though PRACTICALLY EVERYONE ON THE PLANET has been to this restaurant before? And they asked the employee person all sorts of questions about what was in the various food, and then had to do heavy consultations with each other to make the vexing decision of whether or not they wanted a combo? And meanwhile, you're standing there, holding two one-dollar bills, just wanting to PAY AND GET THE FARGING COFFEE CUP SO YOU CAN GET THE SELF-SERVE COFFEE, AND LEAVE?

-- And then you remember that the only reason you're at this fast-food restaurant is because you were at a coffee house earlier, on the way to work? And you ordered a soy latte? And they were out of soy? Which is annoying and stupid, but thank HEAVENS you're not lactose intolerant, so you order the latte with regular milk? And they ask you if you want whole or skim? But you really prefer 1 or 2 percent, so you say, not thinking: "I prefer 2 percent, so could you give me half and half," meaning half whole and half skim? But they end up apparently using HALF AND HALF? But you realize this too late, as you're driving down the road, just before some dickwad pulls in front of you, making you brake hard, causing the orange juice you got for a co-worker to spill all over the farging place?

-- So, back at the fast-food restaurant, you finally pay for your coffee? And you get 50 cents in change? And it is PRIMARILY IN NICKELS?

-- That's your Wednesday Morning News Update.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Previously in the Range

More by Jimmy Boegle

Today | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun | Mon | Tue
PiYo Strength Class

PiYo Strength Class @ Floor Polish

Thursdays, 4:30-5:30 p.m.

All of today's events | Staff Picks

Staff Pick

James G. Davis (1931-2016): Down at the Tower Bar, A Retrospective

Celebrating the career of Tucson artist James G. Davis with a selection of paintings and prints made… More

@ Etherton Gallery Sat., Sept. 9, 7-10 p.m. and Tuesdays-Saturdays, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Continues through Nov. 11 135 S. Sixth Ave.

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. It's 'Tucson Unified' Now (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. The Weekly List: 21 Things To Do In Tucson In The Next 10 Days (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. HOCO Fest Countdown—The, Um, Effervescent Lana Del Rabies Picks the Five Albums That Changed Her Life! (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. Looking at Tucson Unified's AzMERIT Scores: Another Approach (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. Bernie Needs a Home (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2017 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation